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Perks of going to the Psych Ward

  • Published on Jun 8, 2023 veröffentlicht
  • For immediate help 24/7: 988lifeline.org/talk-to-someo...
    Therapist finder: www.psychologytoday.com/us/th...
    00:00 a story I rarely tell
    02:26 my first admission
    03:39 a troubled history
    07:45 the other people there
    10:02 what happens after?
    12:22 my 2019 admission
    ▶ THE TEAM:
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    SCENE SETUP: Laddi
    / theladdi
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    ▶ twitch.tv/illymation
    ▶ SECOND CHANNEL: SILLYMATION / @sillymation6485
  • Film & AnimationFilm & Animation

Comments • 10 919

  • Let Me Explain Studios
    Let Me Explain Studios 2 months ago +41358

    This may have been one of your best and most important videos. You’re an incredible person, Illy. ❤

    • KCstarlywolf
      KCstarlywolf 2 months ago +60


    • Somedude
      Somedude 2 months ago +102

      You don’t get to explain 😤

    • Anony Mouse
      Anony Mouse 2 months ago +85

      Hello rebecca

    • Emma Milicchio
      Emma Milicchio 2 months ago +163

      I agree, Becca. It must not have been easy for her to talk about this topic, and yet she did. I bet it was a huge weight off her chest, and as a fan, I'm really happy and proud of her. :)

    • LavenderKitten
      LavenderKitten 2 months ago +11


  • AnnoyingAnimeKid
    AnnoyingAnimeKid Month ago +1197

    As a person who's mother has threatened to send them multiple times... Thank you. My mental health is often never taken seriously, and 'sending me away' is used as a threat rather than an option to help me. You are an amazing person, Illy!

    • Lily E
      Lily E Month ago +6


    • mizz kwizzt
      mizz kwizzt Month ago +43

      Same, I vividly remember her telling me “that’s where crazies go. It won’t be good for you.”. It discouraged me from ever talking about this again.

    • ICE
      ICE Month ago +11

      U dont want to go, they dont help u, they just make sure u cant die while ur there

    • Anime_theatre_lover4321
      Anime_theatre_lover4321 Month ago +7

      Same. My parents think I’m crazy because I have weird flashbacks of stuff and sometimes I question myself in very scary ways.

    • NekoChan
      NekoChan Month ago +4

      Y'all should see about getting into free online therapy. A school counselor or city resource worker should be able to direct you.

  • Disabled Rat
    Disabled Rat Month ago +608

    this gave me the courage to tell my mom about the thoughts i’ve been having. i just told her, we cried, she hugged me. we’re going to the doctor tomorrow

    • my melody
      my melody 28 days ago +25

      omg i hope you get well! good luck!

    • DaNewDoggoInTown
      DaNewDoggoInTown 22 days ago +10

      How did it go?

    • cap
      cap 22 days ago +17

      I wish my mom was like that.
      Though I don’t know if she will handle me telling her that I have 15 disorders and bad mental health-
      Hopefully this video gives me courage as well

    • Disabled Rat
      Disabled Rat 21 day ago +36

      @DaNewDoggoInTown i went to the hospital for a while, got on new medicine, and i got home a couple day ago. i’m feeling a bit better and i feel like everyone in the house is a little more educated on my condition and how i’m not just “sad”.

    • DaNewDoggoInTown
      DaNewDoggoInTown 21 day ago +5

      @Disabled Rat Thats good , hope u dont die.

  • Honobread
    Honobread 25 days ago +71

    Knowing a fellow creator had grippy sock experiences like me makes me feel so seen and happy that I can relate and more awareness is being brought to how terrible mental illness is portrayed online and in the media - but also makes me sad as someone who knows the level of pain you had to go through to get admitted there. The message in the end made me tear up, wishing you all the love and healing positivity in your life Illy ❤‍🩹✨

  • Nora Julie
    Nora Julie Month ago +753

    It's so hard to talk about psych ward experience. I was 24, and my oldest daughter was 2, and I felt like I was going to ruin her life by being the crazy mom. One of the other patients was pregnant, and we ended up talking about her anxiety about becoming a mom, and I found that I actually had a lot of answers to her questions, which to me, meant that I was doing a decent job. Like, I didn't know everything, but my kid was happy and healthy. There was a guy who was obsessed with music, too, and I still had an old-school mp3 player instead of an iphone, so I got to keep that. I was able to play music for a bunch of us, and that gave us a lot to talk about. Also, there was the older man with tourettes who was always swearing, but played piano beautifully, and we sorta got used to the undercurrent of swearing and let it wash over us and away, and he was really sweet.

    • GingerVixen
      GingerVixen 19 days ago +14

      Wow, they all sound like absolutely amazing people and I hope they are doing better now.

    • geekdivaherself
      geekdivaherself 11 days ago +2

      Thank you! I wish you and yours, and they and theirs well. ❤

    • Josephinehorselover
      Josephinehorselover 9 days ago +1

      Omg that’s so sweet!🫶🫶🫶

  • Chronically kawaii
    Chronically kawaii Month ago +38

    I’ve been admitted ten times lol (thanks undiagnosed autism + child hood trauma.) My last time admitted was extremely traumatic. Super underfunded hospital, I was having a bad reaction to medication they gave me and the nurses not believing me was a recipe for disaster. I even had a nurse scream at me that nothing was physically wrong with me and refused for me to see a medical doctor even though at the time, I was so Ill I hadn’t been able to eat for four days and my skin felt like it was on fire I had to be coved with ice packs. I think it’s important that people aren’t afraid of going to a hospital for mental health care but also it’s not something to romanticize either. like it’s not just a fun and quirky vacation. I’m not saying this video is doing that but I have seen allot of posts on social media doing this. This incident has compounded my medical trauma (I was gaslit for years by doctors from my undiagnosed stage 4 endometriosis.) and it will now make me less likely to seek help in the future. Which is… just not good. There are still serious problems with the mental health industry and I’m not the only person who has had traumatic experiences while inpatient. Hopefully, things can change for the better for all of us.

  • ada kazmi
    ada kazmi 2 months ago +15522

    When Illy said, "People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know" I actually burst into tears, I really needed to hear that.

      McSNAUGHZZ 2 months ago +222

      Same, I never knew I needed to hear that till now

    • IzXodii
      IzXodii 2 months ago +98

      bro same I cant-

    • Amanda Vargas
      Amanda Vargas 2 months ago +25


    • Beth Bayless
      Beth Bayless 2 months ago +66

      We cry together? 😢

    • MooshMosh
      MooshMosh 2 months ago +81

      Same, it often feels like nobody really cares and like I'm all alone in the universe, but hearing things like this helps. Hope you're doing alright.

  • noir !
    noir ! Month ago +275

    you’re so lucky that you got such a wonderful psych ward. the nurses i had barely interacted with us, did not care, were condescending & overall rude. the place was a prison, i wasn’t allowed to get extra pillows, the beds were so uncomfortable, & i had to calm my roommate down after they had an episode bc the nurses wouldn’t do anything.

    • • Zeen •
      • Zeen • 26 days ago +32

      That sound horrible! Something should be done to prevent this bullshit from happening again!

    • kittyspartan143
      kittyspartan143 17 days ago +13

      So much this! Spreading information that these hospitals are GOOD is a big problem, it's going to end up with a lot more people who are traumatized by healthcare.

    • Inconvenient Facts
      Inconvenient Facts 16 days ago +6

      Exactly the experience for many people.. This video is horrible..

    • starlive13
      starlive13 14 days ago +3

      The nurses are acting like you came here to take care of the other patients I wouldn't be surprised that some patients had to stay longer because of the terrible nurses

    • ParrotLover
      ParrotLover 12 days ago +8

      how does some psych hospitals being places that create more trauma make a video like this with a person sharing HER experience with the hospital that she went to terrible?

  • Sarah H.
    Sarah H. 23 days ago +5

    Oh, boy. This was not my psych ward experience at all. Thank you for sharing and bringing this topic into the light. Here’s a small bit of my experience:
    Also trigger warning for self harm, suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, panic attack, etc.
    I went in voluntarily seven years ago because due to an antidepressant medication change, I was feeling suicidal and had a plan. I felt that I needed to be monitored more than I was able to be at home, so my therapist helped me talk to my parents about it. We decided that I’d stay there until this new medication started to work.
    My experience at the psych ward was basically that nobody on the staff (except for my therapist who I saw twice, each time for 30 minutes) knew about or cared about mental illness or the kids who had them (I was a minor, so it was the children’s ward.) The nurses touched my hair and made fun of how greasy it was and called it “disgusting” because I was too depressed to shower. They told me that sitting on the floor was gross when I had no energy. They made fun of the clothes I came in with. When I was admitted and showed them my self harm they said “I just don’t get why anyone would want to do that to themselves” and they said it in a way of judgement, not empathy or compassion. When I had a panic attack because of the fact that I wasn’t allowed to call my parents, all they did was look at me with no expression and cold eyes and told me that all they could do was make me tea. They asked if I was suicidal, obviously I said yes cuz like that’s what I was there for (I had no intention of trying anything to be clear, but did they ask that or care? No) so they took away my sheets and blankets for days and also made me sleep in the activity room with all of the lights on while they chatted amongst themselves all night and watched me, which made it hard to sleep, so then I was sleep deprived. During this time I was barely allowed in my room and was not allowed in there at all from 8 am to 8 pm.
    I could go on and on, but I’ll stop rambling about my experiences here.
    The psych ward I went to virtually doesn’t exist anymore, it kind of rebranded, isn’t the same building, I think they changed management etc. But I still won’t ever go there again. Even though it was at a university, a very big one. It’s one of the main two that are in my state. But I’ll never trust them over there again. I’ve heard better things about other places, so next time I’ll go there.
    I don’t know how to end this comment…sorry for the trauma dump y’all.

  • Loraine Collins
    Loraine Collins 18 days ago +8

    Depending on the facility you go to you might have fun & meet some dope people. We had a day room so we would play board games, talk crap about tv shows, draw, paint, color, listen to music of our choice, do yoga routines with our yoga instructor & go on smoke breaks 4 times a day. Our favorite part of each day was the great food they had with a soda machine in the cafeteria as well. We would all ask each other about our lives & how we ended up being there. It felt good to be heard & to hear other people’s stories.

  • Sage
    Sage 13 days ago +5

    I had a 90 day stay and I got out exactly a week ago, this video helped me feel not alone knowing people are really talking about the stigma

  • • Zeen •
    • Zeen • 26 days ago +97

    My mom doesn’t take my mental health as seriously as I would like her too. She thinks that I feel like this only because of school and work but it’s more than that. I’ve tried to explain to her dozens of times, that even if my life isn’t horrible; I can still feel this way. How she sees it though is that you can only feel like this if your life isn’t great. My father is better but he doesn’t really talk about it. Honestly, when my mother says hurtful things, she wonders why I feel so depressed. She doesn’t understand I have to pretend to feel happy, so other people don’t worry about me. She still calls me selfish.

    • I never learn
      I never learn 20 days ago +3

      you should talk to someone else then

    • DA boi
      DA boi 20 days ago +4

      Yeah same, not saying we feel the same but im in the same situation.

    • • Zeen •
      • Zeen • 20 days ago +1

      @DA boi yeah, it’s rough

    • • Zeen •
      • Zeen • 20 days ago +3

      @I never learn i am. I had my first therapy session last last week

    • I never learn
      I never learn 18 days ago +2

      @{Random}{Thought§} oh, well that's good :)

  • FishFeet100
    FishFeet100 2 months ago +2656

    “Seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you a attention seeker your not being dramatic or over sensitive what your feeling is real its sad and its scary” Really made me burst into tears

  • kay
    kay Month ago +82

    this has completely changed my view on mental health wards, this video needs to be shared

  • BearBoyCZ
    BearBoyCZ 8 days ago +12

    I was admitted to a mental hospital,but this video helped me overcome my fear of it,thank you Illy

  • Pesha The Duck
    Pesha The Duck 29 days ago +31

    I feel like a lot of story time animators don’t talk about this kind of stuff, so thank you illy! You made me feel normal again

  • CorruptedSystem32 🎵
    CorruptedSystem32 🎵 16 days ago +8

    I live in an "open living group" which is basically the dutch equivalent of a less restrictive psych ward, with "closed living group" being more like what you describe. Honestly, even if it's not exactly the same, I am so happy that you made this video as it really comforts me. Thanks, Illy. Really.

  • Alexis Margoles
    Alexis Margoles 12 days ago +3

    It’s crazy how someone can be going through so much pain and on the outside it looks like they are all good and ok

  • sWooZie
    sWooZie 2 months ago +2478

    Great vid Illy!

    • Nezuko ❤️
      Nezuko ❤️ 2 months ago +8

      This is such a great video and it helps so much. Thanks illy!

    • Just Some Gal
      Just Some Gal 2 months ago +12

      Oh my, it's the all powerful swoozie

    • childmuncher420
      childmuncher420 2 months ago +2

      I agree, this really helped me

    • Kurotae
      Kurotae 2 months ago +3

      This video is a W

    • Sebastian Mejia
      Sebastian Mejia 2 months ago +2

      Yep fr it was quite crazy!!!!!!

  • Kiera Plante
    Kiera Plante 4 days ago +2

    As someone who has had to go to a mental hospital this is extremely relatable and realistic and this kind of stuff needs to be talked ab more

  • Bog 112
    Bog 112 2 days ago +3

    Wow, you being this open about something like this is crazy, I'm glad you're doing better than back then. We love you Illy ❤

  • TRYtube
    TRYtube 11 days ago +7

    I’ve been admitted to multiple psych wards throughout the years and you described how things are done there perfectly. You also did a good job debunking the stigma these places have had. Videos like this are important because it can make people feel more comfortable with getting the help they need, when they need it.

  • Asher Lee Kim
    Asher Lee Kim Month ago +43

    Thank you for posting this. I remember how scared I was before being admitted, and also I know it saved my life. Our healthcare system is still imperfect but I am grateful for the support it gave me, as incomplete and imperfect as it was, it gave me enough to keep going. I’m glad you’re still here, and I’m glad that you were able to get support and regain connection ❤

  • MaxwellnowthatIthinkofit
    MaxwellnowthatIthinkofit 11 days ago +11

    I'm at high risk of being sent to a psyche ward involuntarily. I have really bad white coat syndrome but knowing that one of my favorite youtubers went to one and got better lifts such a heavy weight off my shoulders. tysm

    BOSSGRAN 2 months ago +1862

    Everyone let’s all give a round of applause to illy for being brave ans strong to talk about her experiences with a psych ward.
    And to everyone else talking about their experiences,you are strong too,and we are happy to see you strong

  • faye
    faye Month ago +2

    im in the hospital, im probably getting put in a psych ward soon and this helped me calm down. thank you for posting this :3

  • AJ's Wonderful World
    AJ's Wonderful World 9 days ago +3

    this was a video i needed to see. I have been feeling immensely out of it lately, and the stigma and the way i was raised to hide my emotions to not be a burden have made it really hard for me to seek the help i need. I will update this after my doctor appointment in october (yes thats a long time away, but if things get bad enough again, i can check myself in as im 18 now) to share how things went. For the past like 2-3 years, i have been saying that i would go and finally get the help i needed, but i always panic and lie to the doctors and say im fine. That is the biggest and probably most harmful to myself lie that i tell people. "I'm fine" but i know full well that i am not fine. Thank you for making this video, it has really opened my eyes that it is not a burden to need help. This was the first video of yours that i have seen, but it came at a very important time, as i am going through a bunch of things right now.

    • Cha
      Cha Day ago +1

      Good luckkK! it's so hard to start opening up after years of lonely torturous silence, but once you start it becomes easier, i hope you can get better.

  • Kids Ortiz
    Kids Ortiz 17 days ago +1

    This is actually an amazing thing to talk about

  • Maya Montas
    Maya Montas Month ago +14

    Thanks to videos like this I feel less alone and healthier, thanks for sharing your story with people like me, who felt crazy for being in psychiatric hospitals. Good that you could recover, you are my inspiration

  • Mayflower
    Mayflower Month ago +10

    This helped me really badly. I was too scared to open up to my therapist in fear of being sent to a mental hospital, but now it doesn't seem so scary.

  • MudWithFace
    MudWithFace Month ago +20

    When Illy said "people will care if you dissapear one day, they will noitice, they will miss you, more than you will ever know" i burst out in tears. That hit me hard. I've been really struggling and i think i might be suffering from some mental illness, but i haven't seeked help because i don't have reasons to go. What will i tell them? "oh i feel really sad, i feel like offing myself, i have no motivation, i don't want feel like eating, i hate my body and the online tests i've done have all said there's something wrong with me" that seems like attention seeking or self-diagnosing.

    • Robyn Drain
      Robyn Drain Month ago +4

      Self diagnosis is alright so long as you don't take it as complete gospel.
      Maybe you don't have what you think you have but your symptoms are definitely real.
      Self diagnosis can be a way to formulate your concerns to a medical professional or therapist , or a way to help accept and deal with your symptoms both internally and when explaining to others.
      So long as you are willing to take on the advice and any official diagnoses of doctors/therapists if/when you get it, self diagnosis is a perfectly fine first step.

    • MudWithFace
      MudWithFace Month ago +1

      @Robyn Drain well, in that case yeah, it would be okay i guess. I've just had a really bad expirence with people who take self-diagnosing too far.

    • Mx Pants
      Mx Pants 11 days ago

      It's okay to seek attention.
      Also, it's self-diagnosis to decide that what's bothering you is NOT real, or is NOT serious enough to need help.

    • Cha
      Cha Day ago +2

      Hey it's absolutely ok to go to someone (mental health professional) and tell them just that. If you need a heads up to do it. Being sad on a constant basis, feeling like offing yourself, not wanting to eat etc, are very valid issues. Even if it's not critical to the point you aren't functionning anymore.. it's still bad. you have the right to want a better life, to want to know what's wrong with you, you don't have to be in the middle of an acute crisis to call for help. Those are tell-tale signs of depression so it's normal you'd go online and wonder about it and try to "self-diagnose". A good psych or doctor wont turn you down.

    • Strein86
      Strein86 Day ago +1

      ​ @mudwithface3369 It's fine to see a mental health professional. Your phrasing indicates some internal strife. Cognitive behavioral therapy may help for those like me who suffer from intrusive thoughts. Perhaps CBT could help you, too? Talk to someone.

  • Cyann
    Cyann Month ago +1

    This video really made me wanna cry. Thank you. Raising awareness is so important. I went to a place for 7 days here in Oklahoma and was diagnosed Bipolar & ADHD. First time I’ve ever got medications/help/free vacation haha. 😂 but it started my path to self awareness and discipline… I’ll be starting anger management classes soon… something’s better than nothing right?

  • Meh
    Meh 27 days ago

    I’ve never seen a video that’s so gentle yet so powerful. Thank you for sharing your experience and taking the time to educate others.

  • Memerer
    Memerer 23 days ago

    It’s so nice I went back! But for real though as someone who’s gone to the psych ward I wanna thank you for making this video and helping to break the stigma surrounding mental health❤

  • Alex Bentsman
    Alex Bentsman 25 days ago

    The line at 10:30 made me instantly tear up. On a Sunday morning too. Wow, thank you Ilyssa, much love

  • sevenkeys
    sevenkeys 2 months ago +1649

    As a nurse that works mainly in the adolescent unit of a psychiatric hospital, I am really glad that a video like this exists. So many of the kids that come in could definitely benefit by seeing and hearing other's stories and seeing that they're not alone in their experiences.

    • Andy r
      Andy r 2 months ago +8

      if they have TV time maybe this would be good for them!

    • Moises Depaz
      Moises Depaz 2 months ago +4


    • Claudia Withey
      Claudia Withey 2 months ago

      I have a question. I'm a teen and was thinking of becoming a nurse there. Idk if this is rude but do you get payed well? Do you enjoy your job? Have you ever been "unsuccessful" ?

    • JD_Kreeper
      JD_Kreeper 2 months ago +6

      I went once, and I spent the entire time scared and confused. I didn't get any treatment because I didn't understand how "locking me up" was supposed to help me. I then decided to never express any suicidal ideations from then on.

    • Ravus Sapiens
      Ravus Sapiens 2 months ago +1

      In my experience, hearing other people who is in a similar situation as one self, is the best part of therapy.

  • RandomRockerGirl
    RandomRockerGirl Month ago

    Thank you Illy for telling us. Now, if I ever go in a Psych Ward ill know there's nothing to worry about ❤❤

  • MaknCheese
    MaknCheese  23 days ago +1

    When you said "People will care if your disapear" i just wanna thank you because that made me cry and was something I really really really needed to hear rn

  • 海豚ちゃん
    海豚ちゃん 11 days ago +4

    I find it a bit crazy how algorithm works because I randomly found your channel and to say the least, the style of your videos reminds me of the youtube videos i used to watch when i was in middle school and it brings me a lot of comfort. It heals me a lot. Your tone in your videos, the art style, everything really brings back memories. Definitely subscribing

  • H M
    H M 26 days ago

    Never feel ashamed about being in a psych ward , and getting help . Please remember mental health is important and there’s no shame. We all need help and it’s perfectly ok to ask for that help. There’s a lot of great nurses and doctors who are ready to help you at any given moment . You’re not alone in this 😊 May god bless you and I hope all gets better for you

  • Ally
    Ally 19 days ago

    Im so glad you decided to talk about this. Ive been threatened to be sent there before.. but if it ever happens, i won't be scared! Thank you, illy

  • I think I swallowed a hammer
    I think I swallowed a hammer 2 months ago +3876

    As someone who’s also been admitted several times, it’s very comforting in a strange way to know that I am not alone and that one of my favorite Clip-Sharers has a similar experience to me. I know this must be extremely difficult to talk about, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and making so many people feel less alone. This feels very de-stigmatizing and again, (I know I sound like a broken record,) thank you, you amazing person!

    • AmberwinterCove Ayers
      AmberwinterCove Ayers 2 months ago +5

      Bruhhhh ^^.

    • Bethany that's me
      Bethany that's me 2 months ago +9


    • Ashy
      Ashy 2 months ago +13

      I’ve also been admitted a couple of times and it’s nice that it’s talked about in a better way now :)

    • moon
      moon 2 months ago +11

      Like all of your videos, you did not have to share this. The fact you did is incredible.
      I am glad you are still here, and wish you all the best no matter where your life takes you Illy.

    • Drawfru
      Drawfru 2 months ago +11

      I was put into one because I was having a panic attack at school and some stupid day one police officer called a ambulance and I was put in my opinion unrighteously and it was horrible I peed on a man but as of now I’m so happy and much better I was supposedly need it too stay for a month but my father was so stressed out he had a seizure and I left along with him

  • Jeenifer Alberto
    Jeenifer Alberto Month ago +7

    The little bit at the end reassuring us we're not crazy or sensitive hit me right in the feels 🥺💕

  • urmom
    urmom Month ago

    Thank you so much for sharing your story this had me tearing up and made me realize asking for help doesn't make me a burden

    TILLY YH 15 days ago +2

    Ive been to mental hospitals, it was terrible, i was tied down because they believed i was unsafe to others and myself

  • Sylvie Morrow
    Sylvie Morrow 26 days ago

    When I was younger I went through a rough patch, this video describes many of the things I was feeling at the time. Thank you so much. My advice is to talk to someone whenever you are feeling low, it may be scary at first, but it definitely helps. I am now mostly better but I sometimes have rough days.

  • Alastor
    Alastor 14 days ago

    I've never been to a pysch ward before but god damn I didn't realise how much I needed to hear these words atm. Thank you for sharing your story you're really an amazing person :]

  • Jazzy Royal
    Jazzy Royal 2 months ago +1637

    Hey Illy! I’m currently 12 and have been admitted to a mental hospital twice. It really has been damaging to tell people but this video really made me realize that needing help isn’t something to be ashamed of. Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it.❤

    • Liddon Burns
      Liddon Burns 2 months ago +36

      i hope youre doing a bit better now !

    • quinevere
      quinevere 2 months ago +23

      hope you are doing ok!

    • Hi random person reading this
      Hi random person reading this 2 months ago +18

      I hope you’re doing well

    • Justin
      Justin 2 months ago +4

      People like Illy really need to be heard by the community.

    • Screamin’ Dog
      Screamin’ Dog 2 months ago +31

      I hope the leaves crunch just right and the netflix logo hits the precise corner of the screen for you

  • Esme O'Brien
    Esme O'Brien Month ago +1

    Illy you’re a legend. You inspire me everyday.

  • Cloudiie Ramen
    Cloudiie Ramen 4 days ago

    You made me tear up, you are a strong girl. And I'm happy that there's finally people that talk and explains about psych wards without being scared of it and the people inside of it. Everyone is human. And this, this gives me alot of hope.

  • Justarandomperson
    Justarandomperson Month ago

    Thank you for sharing your story Illy! You are so strong ❤

  • Cros
    Cros Month ago

    Glad you came out with this;
    it's extremely informative (can't explain here) and I'm happy things turned out well💞

  • Cleo C
    Cleo C 16 days ago

    I don't know you and not even sure how this video came to me but I'm so glad it did. Thank you for telling your story. As I've gotten older I've come to realize that the scariest part about facing difficult situations is the presumption of what could happen and that the reality is almost always way less scary than what we make something in our minds. Self care isn't all manicures and lattes, it's about recognizing that you need to do something for yourself that isn't the easiest thing to do. But you are a wonderful example courage and self-love and I know that there will be many other people who seek treatment because you were willing to talk about it. If you have a bad day, just try and think about the fact that you are making a huge difference just by being you.

  • Tyler Edge
    Tyler Edge 2 months ago +1501

    I'm a counseling intern at a psych hospital. Genuinely thank you for trying to break the stigma. More people need to be like you. This was extremely brave. Another banger as always.

    • sopgiav
      sopgiav 2 months ago +3

      Hey sorry if this is weird, but can I ask what degree you got to intern at a psych hospital? I’m only in my first year of a Bachelors of Arts psych study, but I feel like I don’t have much direction rn

    • Tyler Edge
      Tyler Edge 2 months ago +4

      @sopgiav yeah no problem! I'm in my first intern class for my masters in counseling degree. I got my bachelors in psychology as well so thats a good path to the clinical route if that's what you wanna do. Still got a year until I get my license and degree though.

    • Darko
      Darko 2 months ago +2

      are you a mariah or a susan

  • cap
    cap 22 days ago

    “People will care if you disappear one day. They will notice. They will miss you more than you will ever know.”
    This was extremely inspirational especially for me who is severely depressed, and has lost hope in anyone caring for me, or life in general.
    Thanks for the reminder :)

  • iamobviouslytheprettiest

    Thanks for talking about this I’ve had 3 hospital admissions and 1 residential stay in my 15 years of being alive and it’s not talked about enough❤

  • Jolie Ma
    Jolie Ma Month ago +2

    (Also I really liked your video! Your vulnerability is inspiring, and I always love seeing your art

  • Irene Lastnamegoeshere

    Asking for help in order to not be a burden has been a difficult hurdle most of my life. It’s still a process I’m working on.
    For those that feel that it’s shameful or shows weakness, please, I encourage you to reach out. I also encourage everyone at large to be an ally and let others know that getting help no matter how small the task is okay! The sooner we break down these barriers that we see as embarrassing the better. ❤

  • jagirl966
    jagirl966 19 days ago +2

    A boy, who always considered my cousin, was forced into one when he was about 8 or so. He was being bullied by a teacher's kid for having ASD. When he went to his mom for help, she pulled some strings at the hospital she worked at and had him committed for an indefinite amount of time. Worst of all, he was put into a solitary room and was not permitted any human contact. Also, this is the same woman who tried to commit disability fraud using my cousin.
    By the time he got out, he was a walking skeleton. He was released when they realized he was a victim of abuse at home and school, but because they couldn't definitely prove it enough for CPS to get him out, he had to go back to the abuse. It later came out was that she was tried of him asking for help in school, not just because of the bullying, but because he was having trouble understanding his homework. She was an angel with her other kids, but a demon to her oldest because of his autism. She admitted that if not for the fact she was getting money from the government, she would have left him there, for good.
    He's now 22 and doing well. In college and his eyes set on getting as far away from that pyscho for good.

  • Gabe Benson
    Gabe Benson 2 months ago +1657

    I almost cried when you said, "People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know." I needed to hear that!
    Thank you for helping to destigmatize mental health hospitals, and for having the strength to tell your story! You seem like an amazing person! ❤️

    • Ruby Rider
      Ruby Rider 2 months ago +5


    • runningtoastgirl77
      runningtoastgirl77 2 months ago +13

      Same, but I actually did start crying.

    • beiond_
      beiond_ 2 months ago +3

      It's interesting to me to hear and see this from a more western pov, here in the balkans it truly is no one really cares where or what you're doing, people you've grown a connection to seemingly just drop you outright like a toy they don't have any interest anymore, psyc wards I'd say are similar to how they are in the west but the stigma is even stronger then it ever has been, you are treated as if you're an outcast of sociaty the moment you mention you have any issues or have tried getting help, as someone that suffers from very visceral schizophrenic episodes and adhd it's frustrating to see and just makes me want to leave this shithole of a culture even more.

    • retaka on the crime
      retaka on the crime 2 months ago +2

      @runningtoastgirl77 me too

    • Wolfynet
      Wolfynet 2 months ago +2


  • kusasajou
    kusasajou Month ago

    literally gonna bawl my eyes out thank you for sharing your experience and saying such kind words

  • Twilightdeath :3
    Twilightdeath :3 13 days ago

    Thank you so much for this video and your vulnerability. I have been in a dark place for so long and this video has pushed me to get the help I need. I am not a burden nor is anyone else. Thank you Illy❤️

  • Kitsune The Fox
    Kitsune The Fox Month ago

    Aw! We're right behind you Illy! You rock and don't let anything anyone says or does make you feel different!

  • NordNora
    NordNora 13 days ago

    You talk about very important stuff Illy. You have been through so much and you are so strong! ❤

  • LoSt GuRL
    LoSt GuRL 23 days ago

    I also was hospitalized when I was 13-14 and the experience was scary but I was never ashamed. It’s not bc I had a safe space to open up but bc I always believe to create a safe place for people to open up. Through me being open about it I discovered SO SO SO many people have gone and just felt so ashamed to talk about it but the smile in their face when we talk about it reminding them that they have gone far from that moment is so worth it.

  • Z
    Z 2 months ago +1898

    Using an anonymous account because I don't usually comment, but I just wanted to say thank you. As a 15 year old that has been contemplating suicide for the last year or so, hearing that "people will miss you" made me realize that there is people I have in my life to live for. I've been afraid of telling a therapist or my parents about being suicidal, because I was afraid of being admitted to a psych ward, but after seeing this I might decide to be a little more open with them. Thank you so much

    • Bear Loir
      Bear Loir 2 months ago +56

      Yes get help if you need it!!! There is always at least one person who will be willing to listen and maybe even help you get help

    • brøkøli
      brøkøli 2 months ago +31

      I know it is difficult, but please get help if you can! Sending lots of love to you 💖

    • im an eclair
      im an eclair 2 months ago +21

      yes i’m 100% sure you have people to live for! like the other comments said, it’s really important to get help, i hope everything goes well for you 💕

    • SerenityM16
      SerenityM16 2 months ago +15

      In my experience by far the worst part of psych wards (I’ve been in 6 times) is the mind numbing boredom, bring books and/or coloring books

    • Oliv
      Oliv 2 months ago +1

      dont tell ur parents or a therapist, thats one of the dumbest things u could do. u dont want to talk to ppl who dont understand and also you'd just be reaffirming stigmas that all young ppl are mentally ill. plus, therapy is way too expensive

  • Goose
    Goose Month ago +2

    This video is so important to me, and thank you for making it. I was under house hospitalization (due to Covid, I couldn’t go into the hospital due to lack of beds) and it’s happened twice- but I wish I had the courage to ask for help before and after those. I love this video, so thank you so much 💜

  • Robinhlb
    Robinhlb Month ago +3

    You are not someone who should be frowned upon because you decided to get help. You go girl!

  • Skye Drage
    Skye Drage 14 days ago +2

    As someone who has been admitted at least 7 times since 2019, thank you. There’s such an awful stigma around this. My little brother recently had his first admission and was just as terrified as I was my first time but has realised how much they can help, just like I did. If more people work to break this stigma kids like you, myself and my little brother won’t need to fear these places.

  • River talks
    River talks 18 days ago

    This made me cry and im so glad you made this. Thank you for being alive to post this ❤

  • Kai Anforth
    Kai Anforth 28 days ago

    I'm going to try to get myself admitted to a good hospital for my own good. I have violent anger issues and need help with them. Thank you for telling your story Illy. I hope I have a good nurse like Maria. Love you all

  • TimeBucks
    TimeBucks 2 months ago +964

    This is such a powerful video and it’s so relatable

  • Indigo Sette
    Indigo Sette Month ago

    Wow, its strange how different and yet how similar our experiences were. I was involuntarily admitted when i was 11, and i had to stay there for 9 months, then got transferred to a different facility and had to stay there for about a year. Im still a minor, and ive talked to my parents about voluntarily admitting myself, but they say everything is fine with me, i dont have to go back, and if i go back, theyll keep me there till im 18. :(

  • Azriel
    Azriel Month ago +1

    as someone who was admitted at age 8, i'm so glad someone was able to speak up about the stereotypes of the psych ward and how it isn't for crazy or insane people from how it's depicted in movies but more to help them, and it isn't everyone's bag of onions but for some people it helped them a lot :)

  • _remisnotcool_
    _remisnotcool_ 2 days ago

    I’ve been to the psych ward 9 times now, and I’m so glad someone has spread this message in depth on the internet, because I can’t tell you how many people still think mental hospitals are still like they used to be. Your awesome ily

  • Amanda Barkley
    Amanda Barkley 15 days ago +3

    I was bawling by the end of this. Thank you for making this beautiful, real, raw and poignant reminder that we are all human and are simply doing the best we can, and that we don't have to do it all on our own. I'm so happy for you that you've come to so far, and just in case you need or want to hear it, I'm really, really proud of you. 💙

  • Torosiken
    Torosiken 18 days ago +1

    Thank you for this video. I have someone I really care about who had to be admitted into one too with a terrible case of manic BPD. It's a painful road of recovery. They seemed to be comfortable during the time in the ward minus the Susan type of nurse. It's really sad on how much mental health stigma that still exists this day. But at least it's slowly getting there. You're really strong for hanging through and delivering this video. Thank you for staying alive ❤

  • T. Fairuz
    T. Fairuz 2 months ago +1274

    Speaking as someone from Bangladesh, a third world country, this is something we so desperately need. But we're stuck in the (in the American context) 1950s when in comes to mental healthcare. Just knowing that this type of acceptance exists somewhere on this planet is immensely helpful. Sending this to all my depressed friends. ♥️

    • Justin
      Justin 2 months ago +24

      I hope Bangladesh gets better mental care soon

    • Someone who can't make up their mind onausername
      Someone who can't make up their mind onausername 2 months ago +17

      yeah, some as a middle eastern. mental health in asia has a loooong way to go

    • 𝓜𝓮&𝓜𝓮
      𝓜𝓮&𝓜𝓮 2 months ago +3

      im bangladeshi :)

    • notmeeeee
      notmeeeee 2 months ago +7

      haha im from south asia as well, mental healthcare is so very underdeveloped

    • Jakey
      Jakey 2 months ago +3

      I hope your country can get good mental Healthcare in the near future, the one thing everyone should be able to get is adequate and accessible mental Healthcare without persecution or judgment. My country still has so far to go in getting great mental Healthcare, but I bet most people here would come to appreciate how incredible our system is compared to the developing world

  • Clare Nahrwold
    Clare Nahrwold 14 days ago +1

    As someone who has been admitted many many times, this is amazing. I really wish I had something like this before I got admitted. This made me see my admissions as something other than embarrassing for the first time in a while. I also feel like I’m not so much of a burden if I need to ask for help. I’m really glad you’re still here and doing so much good for this world.

  • sxdsouls
    sxdsouls Month ago +5

    This genuinely made me cry. I've been trying to seek help for so long, I had a therapist for a few weeks, but not even he helped. Asking for help is scary, I've asked my parents for help and was ignored. For years, I've been ignored about my mental health until one day in 2022, but not even my mother took me in. She just threatened evaluation. For anyone struggling out there, reach out for help if you can. Find someone you can trust and talk to them. Even if it's family, friends, or a professional.

  • Milk_way
    Milk_way Month ago

    This happened to me, it was ok but my friends left me because I was rumored about. It’s nice to see someone to know this 😊

  • Megs🌈
    Megs🌈 Month ago +3

    This is a really good video, and it sends out a really good message. Your a good person Illy.
    P.S. My favourite part: "Be a Maria, not a Susan"

  • Monchy Tales
    Monchy Tales Month ago +11

    When I was 16 I was sent to a hospital without seeing a doctor because my mom's boyfriend had some kind of magistrate friend write up a bullshit reason about me trying to kill my mother
    after a week the nurse knew it was bullshit and I ended up in a series of sessions with lots of people I didn't know who asked me lots of questions about my home life, then they left me alone
    2 months I stayed in that hospital, before I found out the staff had reached out to my grandparents and had the state put me in their custody because they knew I had been abused as a kid and wasn't dangerous at all
    it was the most peaceful 2 months of my life, so calm, so regular, no stressors at all

  • ishrat  Fatima
    ishrat Fatima  2 months ago +799

    Everyone let's give a round of applause to lily for being brave and strong to talk

    • Zoë
      Zoë 2 months ago +2


    • Broadway Girl 27
      Broadway Girl 27 2 months ago


    • Cristal Clear
      Cristal Clear 2 months ago +1

      Lily? Who's that? Also 👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • Pernille Aalbu
      Pernille Aalbu 2 months ago


    • jella_jb
      jella_jb 2 months ago

      👏👏👏👏👏👏 and btw it's Illysa, (pronounced alyssa)

  • I don’t know either
    I don’t know either 10 days ago +1

    Thank you for helping me get through some of my hardest times. You are a real life super hero💕

  • Becca Delzer
    Becca Delzer 7 days ago

    Thank you for making this video. I’ve been having a rough time lately with my mental health and I needed to hear this today

  • RaineChr
    RaineChr 26 days ago

    this video is honestly so nice
    i was admitted to the psych ward 5 times between the ages of 11 and 12, and i think if i was able to see this 5 years ago, it wouldve helped alot
    im happy you can make this video and share it with others who are scared, i think it’s extremely brave and amazing :)

  • Gracie
    Gracie 25 days ago +2

    I relate to this video SO MUCH! I am someone who struggles with my mental health constantly. I have too many diagnosis’s to count, and been in and out of hospitals, residentials, day programs, groups, and outpatient treatments since I was 12 (I’m now 21 now). It’s still a heck of a ride. But knowing that I’m not alone, makes me feel a little more understood. Even though I wouldn’t wish what I’ve been through upon anyone, others sharing makes me feel like there may still be hope. And strangely enough, my goal in life is to become a psychiatric nurse who works on a mental health unit. I feel like my empathy can be positively used to help others in similar situations. But first I need to continue to work on myself, before I help others. Because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Thank you so much for sharing part of your story! It really does mean a lot, and helps shed light on an really important topic! Sending much love, hugs, and support your way! -Gracie 🥹🥰😘😇

  • Cyan Skies
    Cyan Skies Month ago +1

    so glad i clicked on this video, im going through a lot rn and i need to remind myself i’m not the only one who feels this way

  • OffBrandHalfblood
    OffBrandHalfblood 2 months ago +1256

    Illy, thank you for making this.
    I'm 13 and I've been admitted too a psyche ward twice. I don't think I can explain how much seeing one of my favorite animators talk about this kind of experience means to me.

    • No-Notebook
      No-Notebook 2 months ago +20

      Same im also 13 and have been to a psych word twice it is very difficult

    • Beretta ♞
      Beretta ♞ 2 months ago +2


    • SkyNinja357
      SkyNinja357 2 months ago +32

      ​@Beretta ♞ really?

    • Matthew Whitaker
      Matthew Whitaker 2 months ago +5

      i am also thirteen i've been admitted once but i can agree with you

    • C3c1_Cos
      C3c1_Cos 2 months ago +22

      @Beretta ♞ can you just like not?

    EEVEEROCKS13 20 days ago

    I'm so happy mental hospitals are talked abt more nowdays in a brighter light rather than being looked at as a bad thing. Good work Illy and thank you so much for sharing something so personal, your a very brave person!

  • Bubblies005
    Bubblies005 28 days ago +1

    Thank you for sharing your experiences. I was hospitalized in a psych unit voluntarily back in 2015. Halloween is my least favorite time of year frankly. And thank you so much for saying the things I’m sure a lot of us need to hear but don’t.❤

  • yearlywise
    yearlywise 29 days ago +4

    I’ll come back to this video in the future whenever I feel… less than happy about existing. Even though I have trouble believing (sincerely, genuinely believing) it, the thought that people will miss me when I’m gone, that there are people out there who won’t judge me for my issues… is a comfort, to say the least.
    Maybe I’ll admit myself to a psych ward someday. If I do, it’ll be thanks to you, Ily. Thanks for speaking out about your experiences- I feel better about going there myself now, if I ever do in the future.

  • Xx_Z0MBIEEE_xX
    Xx_Z0MBIEEE_xX Month ago

    Thank you alot for making this video! It’s made me less fearful about possibly having to go to the psych ward ^^

  • Puddels
    Puddels Month ago

    As a person who might have to go to one soon. Thank you. This video ( and tiktok ) has made me less scared of going and wanting to seek help more.❤️

  • Miya Vialva
    Miya Vialva 2 months ago +949

    I can’t be the only one who’s loved watching illy’s channel turn into such a safe educational place while still keeping that same humor she’s always had in her videos💗

    • thoa kim
      thoa kim 2 months ago


    • Tuxedo Cat Army #stopanimaltesting
    • junox. ☆
      junox. ☆ 2 months ago

      i don't wanna be that person but her name isn't lily-

    • Antje Whipple
      Antje Whipple 2 months ago

      @junox. ☆ it’s probably just a typo, they seem to be a regular viewer or they make it sound as though they are

    • junox. ☆
      junox. ☆ 2 months ago

      @Antje Whipple i thought it was probably a typo, but i was just saying that in case they actually didn't know.

  • Crimson_Sakura
    Crimson_Sakura Month ago +2

    Wow, this had me re-live a lot. I had pretty much the exact same experiences a few years ago in high school. Anyway, thanks so much for bringing attention to this!
    (And um, thanks for that message at the end about how people will miss you. Even though I'm okay now, it's still really nice to hear.)

  • WolfieHP55🍕🐺
    WolfieHP55🍕🐺 13 days ago +1

    As someone who's struggled with anxiety, I have often wondered if anyone would care if I wasn't here or if anyone noticed I was here at all. I thank you, Illy so much for drawing awareness to mental health and not being scared to seek help. I feel a lot of people needed this message including myself. Keep making these amazing videos! :)

  • Midnight Pebble
    Midnight Pebble Month ago

    I have been in patient 2 times in my life, but the people that worked there have been so sweet. I was hospitalized for a week each time, but was sent to the ER several about 3 times and this video made me cry of happiness, hesrimg someone talk aboutbthe positive side of this. To anyone who needs the helo, just remember that we all care and love you❤

  • TheBunnyGroup
    TheBunnyGroup Month ago

    I was almost involuntarily joined a phsyc ward because my therapist gave up teaching me how to stop being crazy😂 but what I was arguing about was the fact that I didn’t want to change and my mom said that I wasn’t going to change and I was just going to help, but what she didn’t know is she proved me right. The therapist also fought that he just wanted to help. My mom said I was perfect and I’m not changing myself. Sometimes I feel obligated to changing and can’t make my own path I feel forced to change and that I wasn’t perfect and I was just, a bad kid. I wish my mom noticed but she never did. Anyway that’s my story, thanks for reading, wanna be a friend?❤❤