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Ren - Su!cIde (Official Music Video)

  • Published on Jun 7, 2023 veröffentlicht
  • Pre order my upcoming album Sick Boi here ! bio.to/Ren-Sick-Boi
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    Ren - Su!cIde (Official Music Video)
    Raising money for RNLI : www.justgiving.com/page/ren-g...
    Freckled Angels Album: renmakesmerch.com/products/fr...
    Website: www.renmakesmusic.co.uk/
    Store/Merchandise: renmakesmerch.com
    Clip-Share: / @renmakesmusic
    Instagram: renmakesmusic
    Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@renmakesmusic
    Music video by Louis Mardlin
    Creative Deploy
    Ren Official Music Videos:
    - "Hi Ren" - • Ren - Hi Ren (Official...
    - "Sick Boi" - • Ren - Sick Boi (Offici...
    - "Su!c!de" - • Ren - Su!cIde (Officia...
    - "Murderer" - • Ren - Murderer (Offici...
    - "Animal Flow" - • Ren - Animal Flow (Off...
    - "Illest Of Our Time" - • Ren - Illest Of Our Ti...
    - "Jenny's Tale" - • Ren - Jenny's Tale (Of...
    - "Screech's Tale" - • Ren - Screech's Tale (...
    - "Violet's Tale" - • Ren - Violet's Tale (O...
    - "Genesis" - • Ren - Genesis
    - "The Hunger" - • Ren - The Hunger (Offi...
    - "Chalk Outlines" - • Ren X Chinchilla - Cha...
    #Ren #renmakesmusic #newmusic
  • MusicMusic

Comments • 0

  • Ren
    Ren  3 months ago +7166

    Thankyou everyone so much for watching, this one was difficult to write, but im glad I got to share it with you. As always here are the lyrics and the link to stream
    Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
    fallen through the cracks of the night sky
    A light goes out on the other side,
    suicide, suicide, suidice
    Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
    treading on the tracks in the night time
    It never really felt like the right time
    suicide, suicide, suicide
    I'm so fucking lonely beneath this,
    narcisistic, cant keep a secret,
    miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit
    Some say troubled, but some say sadistic,
    Bruises my brother, one time or the other,
    my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber
    Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister
    dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you
    Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
    fallen through the cracks of the night sky
    A light goes out on the other side,
    suicide, suicide, suidice
    Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
    treding on the tracks in the night time
    It never really felt like the right time
    suicide, suicide, suicide
    [sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi
    I feel like its not me its the world thats sick
    I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick
    masochistic kid with a split lip
    six feet deep I can't eat im nervous
    won't stay down 'cause my body purges
    useless my mother, cant keep in my supper
    skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour
    Truth is my father, you choose your karma
    draw for the sword then drive through the armour
    Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
    fallen through the cracks of the night sky
    A light goes out on the other side,
    suicide, suicide, suidice
    Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
    treding on the tracks in the night time
    It never really felt like the right time
    suicide, suicide, suicide
    Suicide suicide suicide
    Suicide suicide suicide
    Suicide suicide suicide
    Suicide suicide suicide
    It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut,
    Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup,
    You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts?
    I see the world through fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch
    I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not
    I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job
    I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck
    Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped
    I think about that sometimes , vividly
    What it felt like to look down and see tranquility
    One sudden movement in a world of possibility
    Only one movement to expose our fragility
    I fucking miss you and I miss myself
    I miss thinking that were indestructible as well
    I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back
    Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads
    I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap,
    I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast,
    The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too,
    But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you
    Man I miss you,
    with all my rhymes
    I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time
    I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying
    And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine
    that’s not the way that I worked
    Coz I was late like a jerk
    There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt
    Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse
    I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd

  • Corey Schafer
    Corey Schafer 3 months ago +1996

    Dude I literally don’t understand how you never miss for me. With every other artist I have obvious favorites and others I don’t vibe to. But, me personally, ya just never miss. Also, aside from the music, the artistry of this video is amazing. I’d watch an entire series in this style.

    • Thomas Goldschmidt
      Thomas Goldschmidt 3 months ago +54

      I am in the same boat. I haven't seen an artwork or song from Ren that did not speak to me in one way or another. He just does not publish misses.
      That makes it even stranger that he was discovered just now, and not years ago. The art he created with The Great Push is amazing too. (I know some of their busking videos went kind of viral too, but what we are experiencing now is different.)
      What Ren does with this newfound influence is admirable and amazing. It is a very fine line and balancing act to gain popularity and not get corrupted by it but use it for the greater good. Ren seems to be a masterful tightrope walker too.

    • Chris Chamberlin
      Chris Chamberlin 3 months ago +23

      Same for me. I have bought all his music and have it all in one playlist. Just put it on random play and it’s the only thing I’ve listened to for months.

    • Moshe Yehuda Bernstein
      Moshe Yehuda Bernstein 3 months ago +6


    • Jmaccxx
      Jmaccxx 3 months ago +24

      A.I imagery, you can tell a mile off. Shout out to the directors though.

    • Corey Schafer
      Corey Schafer 3 months ago +11

      @Jmaccxx The directors must have done an amazing job piecing all of that together

  • Marc Siosal
    Marc Siosal 3 months ago +46

    I'll be forever invested in everything Ren does. This song hits different..... My son turned me onto Ren in 2019 and I lost him recently....he was only 27...I tear up whenever I watch him now whether it's talking in an interview or singing. I wish we could go and see Ren play live together but that's just a dream now....In saying that, I guess that given he demanded "Dad...you MUST listen to this guy....he'll blow your mind" in a way he's with me whenever I listen to his music...and I do that alot lol. I know Ren is going through his own travails right now but i'd like him to know that his music has helped me immensely to get through the worst time in my life. Just because of the connection and the fact that I can think of my son in a happy way....something I never thought would be possible ever again. I listen to Ren's music and have happy thoughts rather than the torture I was experiencing when everything was very raw. There was a period then when I had to avoid photos & videos with Scott's voice. I've got past that now and Ren's music has played more than a small part in that. I kinda think i'm starting to ramble a bit so i'll leave it there. If you ever do happen to see this comment Ren....thank you from the bottom of my heart. You're very much in my thoughts as you go through your treatment. I hope you consider playing in Edinburgh one day so I can get to see you do what you do best. Much love from Scotland bro.🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿❤🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

  • Holly Kuhn
    Holly Kuhn Month ago +24

    As a nurse i know people want to say dont talk about this but its a good sign when someone opens up about their thoughts about this. Ren thank you for this video and song. There's nothing wrong with feeling and opening up to let others know they can talk. I want them to talk before its too late. Thank you Ren

  • Darren Smith
    Darren Smith 3 months ago +351

    I'm a 46 year old male and this is the first song that's made me cry that isn't directly associated with a moment in my own life. Between 'Hi Ren" and this I've never encountered an artist that hits me in the soul so hard.

    • Joe McAllister
      Joe McAllister 3 months ago +13

      I'm 52 and I'm right there with you brother. Thought I was too old and too hardened for any "new" music to get to me. Then I heard "Hi Ren".

    • Gavin
      Gavin 2 months ago +3

      Yep 46 too. And this guy is next level. Never been so excited to watch an artist grow, he is groundbreaking & his music will be talked about in generations to come.

    • Kirzan
      Kirzan 2 months ago +2

      My thoughts exactly. Normally I need some kind of personal connection for the song to hit me (this hard) but I wept so much because Ren's music is just so... real. So easy to empathize with.

    • AeroBill
      AeroBill 2 months ago +1

      54 in a week and same here.
      Ren has lived a lifetime already it send and somehow has the gift and talent and puts in the hard work to translate his thoughts and emotions into relatable music. What a guy. Greetings from the Netherlands.

  • Rebecca Lansdown
    Rebecca Lansdown Month ago +40

    I'm a survivor of an attempt and I have to say that your music resonates with me. It's such a lonely, pain filled place to be, thinking about suicide, making the plan to end things. If someone had showed me your music back then I wouldnt have felt so alone. I doubt I would have followed through if id had even a bit of hope that things could be better. Im grateful to still be here and to have had the chance to do so much more with my life. PLEASE, never stop believing in yourself! You are reaching so many people with what you have created.

    • SpruceMaroose
      SpruceMaroose 5 days ago

      The wold is glad that you are here, keep bringing your light to it. This music brings us who feel like a speck of sand on a sandless beach, together and know that there are others that understand

  • Latonia Salazar
    Latonia Salazar 3 months ago +938

    My 16 yr daughter has been suicidal for past 4 years. I haven't been able to really reach her , I've used anger, talking, coaching, and begging. I showed her this today we cried. This showed her there's 2 sides to suicide the person we loose & the person they loved in us that would go with them. Thank you Ren for being so vulnerable & valuable at the same time.

    • Erik Palumbo
      Erik Palumbo 3 months ago +31

      I hope she turns the corner.

    • torlcean
      torlcean 3 months ago +21

      Hope she gets through the troubling times she's having. Much love from the UK!

    • mystic
      mystic 3 months ago +12

      So happy to hear about the experience you shared with her today. Wishing you two nothing but the best for the future. :)

    • Eric Rozell
      Eric Rozell 3 months ago +6

      Music is beautiful

    • Terry Luster
      Terry Luster 3 months ago +17

      Hold her tight, we lost our daughter 9 years ago to suicide. My heart will always be broken.

  • marcus hernandez
    marcus hernandez 3 months ago +2104

    I lost my son to suicide 5 years ago. I have been considering my own for those 5 years due to this and my own battle with chronic pain. I found your music last week, Ren, and it saved me. You saved me. SOMEONE knows how I feel!

    • One4TheDitch
      One4TheDitch 3 months ago +102

      Please stay with us, you’re loved!

    • Jack Custer
      Jack Custer 3 months ago +55

      I hope REN sees this. I’m sure he’d appreciate it. I’ve been there but thanks to whoever I’m still here.

    • Sun Queen
      Sun Queen 3 months ago +63

      I’m very sorry you lost your son, it’s tragic, I can’t even imagine! Chronic pain sucks royally, but you stood for the fight, and now here we are knowing you and please know you are loved! We don’t have to know one another, it’s the positive energy that feeds us and we gain the strength to hold on. I lost three cousins to MD, it was insane living knowing when you will die. I miss them often and reminded of the words they left behind. There’s so much I can say and share but all I want you to know is someone out here is going to need you one day and like you found Ren, they will find you and you too would have saved a life. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️

    • Utfo Fuo
      Utfo Fuo 3 months ago +18

      Hey, im reallly sorry for this situation and hope you can realise that there are lots of people tha feel the same way as you
      lots of love and hope everyone thats reading this can see some light at the end of the tunnel

    • David Lutjen
      David Lutjen 3 months ago +43

      My son took his life and mine has been a walking hell ever since. He was only a child at 16. Many many times I've thought about the only way I could see him again. It's hard in a way that you pray no one else should go through. I'm sorry for your loss.

  • Laurie Smith
    Laurie Smith 3 months ago +44

    This song touches my heart. 2 of my brothers committed suicide, both before their mid 30s. I was suicidal from 10 years old until I finally got help at the age of 41. Abuse, domestic violence, murder, drug abuse, sexual abuse was all we knew growing up. I am so glad I made the choice to live and not die by my own hand. This song speaks to so many people and a huge hug to REN for pouring his heart and pain into this song and video. Peace to all of us who got left behind by a loved one. 😢❤

    • The Encouragement Kid
      The Encouragement Kid 6 days ago +1

      so glad you're still here (: keep fighting

    • Laurie Smith
      Laurie Smith 6 days ago +1

      @The Encouragement Kid thank you for your kind words, I'm never giving up..come too far and the victory is mine. Thanks again, this means a lot to me. Peace and love

  • sarah burke
    sarah burke 3 months ago +64

    I lost my 15 year son to suicide last year… this is a powerful song Thank you Ren for bringing this into the world im so sorry for u and everyone going through the painful tragic hell that suicide brings us 🙏 let all our angels surround us to help us through I know my son is with me step by step but oh how I wish it wasn’t this way

    • StephensonRaceTech
      StephensonRaceTech 2 months ago +1

      No idea who you are. Hug and love from a stranger to you.

    • sarah burke
      sarah burke 2 months ago +1

      @StephensonRaceTech Thank u ❤️‍🩹🫂

    • maxi0
      maxi0 Month ago +1

      Sorry for your loss sarah. Can't begin to imagine your pain.

    • sarah burke
      sarah burke Month ago +2

      @maxi0 ❤️‍🩹 xx

    • Kim B, that's me
      Kim B, that's me 20 days ago


    UNION FEATURES 3 months ago +129

    Ren has to be the most exciting artist in Britain right now.

    • Truth Panda
      Truth Panda 2 months ago

      says unionfeatures

    • xYazz
      xYazz 2 months ago +11

      in the world*

    • Truth Panda
      Truth Panda 2 months ago

      Nah mate. His music is good but there are many other decent artists

    • Michele White
      Michele White Month ago +8

      @Truth Panda Decent? Ren is FAAAR from decent. I'm 50, have listened to many artists, across as many genres and Ren is different than all of them. Dude is in his own tier and it's above ALL others. Kid does it all and does it all EXCEPTIONALLY well. Nothing "decent", or mediocre about it, period. He has multiple songs that would be commercial hits, right now, if he was in the industry. Facts.

    • Truth Panda
      Truth Panda Month ago

      @Michele White people constantly licking his arse. His music is good. But there are many other equally exciting artists in the uk and elsewhere. I really like ren, I just dont worship the ground under his feet.

  • Marie Auclair
    Marie Auclair 2 months ago +1

    12 years and it’s every day that I miss my brother. Thank you for releasing your art. It helps and it heals. ❤❤❤❤❤

  • Jynx
    Jynx 3 months ago +120

    You're so far away and a stranger, yet you have touched my heart more intimately than most people in my life. Your music is a fire, a balm, a joy and torture. It's a beautiful and terrifying journey you've taken me on. Thank you

    • Stormeah
      Stormeah 2 months ago

      Spot on mate.

    • Rachel
      Rachel Month ago

      I feel this 😢

  • Ren
    Ren  4 months ago +4370

    Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
    Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
    I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
    This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
    Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
    Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
    On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
    Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
    Joe’s body was never found.
    Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
    As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
    My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
    Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
    During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
    Turn on notifications for the video here: clip-share.net/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/video.html
    Raising money for RNLI :
    Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd
    Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de

    • Derek Kraft
      Derek Kraft 4 months ago +61

      I already know this is gonna be so great and beautiful.❤️ I'm very sorry for your lost.😕💔

    • Jessica
      Jessica 4 months ago +46

      I’m sorry you had to go through this Ren, i cannot even begin to imagine what that pain must feel like, and my heart goes out to anyone who has been through similar situations or if anyone feels like your friend Joe did i hope they get help & know they are loved 😔 sending you big hugs, i just know this song is going to touch so many hearts. We all are with you RIP Joe 🕊️❤️🌹 x

    • Nin Stardust
      Nin Stardust 4 months ago +29

      Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Ren. Much love to you 💖 Sorry for your loss. RIP Joe 🕊️

    • viantria
      viantria 4 months ago +25

      it's a very sad and real life story Ren, thank you for being able to open up and transform pain and suffering into beautiful songs that can really support strangers who find them, this is a real gift

    • Michael Jensen
      Michael Jensen 4 months ago +10


  • Kokopelli
    Kokopelli Month ago +14

    Englsih is not my native language so i'll do my best.
    Thanks man, I've been in a depression for about 12 years, I fought as hard as I could but I've started considering suicide 6 month ago. With my last piece of life I asked for help but no one answered to my call. But i heard your song and it gave me enough energy to fight one last time and find the right people to help me and it worked. Now I have pills but not forever and i can live a new life. I know I own it to myself but you helped me so much. So thank you with all my still beating heart.

  • xenaren
    xenaren 3 months ago +88

    My daughter was just born on 06/13/23 and we named her Ren, it's a name that's kind of followed me around for a long time and I kept seeing it everywhere, I even used to have a cat named Ren years and years ago. Then when me and my daughter's dad got together we found your music and you're now one of our favorite artists and your music has gotten us through a lot of really hard times, especially me getting through treatment for substance abuse while I was pregnant so that I could have my daughter and her not have to live that life that I was living. Thank you for all the hope you've given us and keep up the good work.

    • SpruceMaroose
      SpruceMaroose 5 days ago

      It's a beautiful story. I wish Ren the best life

  • Daniel Dinsdale
    Daniel Dinsdale 2 months ago +15

    Man this really does hit different to most modern music. The emotion being expressed is on a whole other level. it’s more than just music.

    • eva
      eva 2 months ago +2

      How are you feeling?

    • Daniel Dinsdale
      Daniel Dinsdale 2 months ago +1

      @eva that’s a hard question to answer my friend, but I do know that it is always warming when a stranger asks. I hope you live long and find peace x

    • eva
      eva 2 months ago +1

      @Daniel Dinsdale thanks but...if you're not ok we can talk about it

    • Daniel Dinsdale
      Daniel Dinsdale 2 months ago +1

      @eva I admire your persistence friend but honestly I’m feel better. How’s life on your end?

    • eva
      eva 2 months ago +1

      @Daniel Dinsdale i'm better too but please don't give up ok?

  • TThoMusic
    TThoMusic 16 days ago +1

    How am I only just discovering this now? This is absolutely breathtaking. Ren if you're reading this never stop creating and although you are deserving of fame and fortune never let it change you. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

    • BlueMoon9
      BlueMoon9 12 days ago

      Better late than never! Welcome 😊❤

  • kerry lambourne
    kerry lambourne 16 days ago +1

    Holy shit. This made me well up, gave me goosebumps and I'm obsessed. Ren, I hope you realise how many people you've touched. Truly... You are a pioneer. You deserve the number one album ❤️🖤❤️

  • Kp O'Donnell
    Kp O'Donnell 3 months ago +1462

    Tomorrow is the six year anniversary of losing my 20 year old child in similar circumstances. Time does not heal, it accommodates. Beautiful song Ren. Thank you.

    • CALLYPSO16
      CALLYPSO16 3 months ago +7

    • Sorry for my english
      Sorry for my english 3 months ago +24

      So sorry for your loss ❤❤ Big hug to confort you from a human to another

    • Margaret C
      Margaret C 3 months ago +10

    • Vivienne Clarke
      Vivienne Clarke 3 months ago +39

      My 13 year old son died 12 years ago,of natural causes. And yes,you are so right.....Some things time does NOT heal. Losing a child is one of those things. I'm so sorry for your loss,and I hope that you've found a way to live with the grief and still find happiness.......❤

    • Michal Victoria
      Michal Victoria 3 months ago +45

      “Time does not heal, it accommodates”-beautifully said.

  • Mark Langford
    Mark Langford 29 days ago +1

    Young man, I'm so amazed by you. What a wonderful song ....I hope it helps others step back from the edge!!! Love your bravery to share your loss and thereby give hope to others.

  • Damien Benedict
    Damien Benedict 2 months ago +3

    I needed this today. The hurt is real. Im still here. My god it hurts. But im staying here. 😢

  • Sara Harber
    Sara Harber Month ago

    I only found your music a couple months ago, but every lyric just verbalizes the thoughts, feelings, and experiences I have had. Like Hi Ren gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. Been in and out of treatment for many years. I always eventually find myself back where I started, or worse. I’m still battling my demons. The pendulum is always swinging, but I won’t give up on that eternal dance. Your music gives me so much hope.

  • Rachel
    Rachel Month ago

    An absolute masterpiece ❤ this hits 😢 Thankyou Ren 🙏❤

  • Keith W
    Keith W 2 months ago +1

    This one hurts. Brings tears to my eyes. Thank you Ren

  • Joshua Calloway
    Joshua Calloway 4 months ago +158

    Brother…I haven’t cried since late 2006, after I hit my last roadside bomb in Iraq, and was flown to Washington DC, for a year of ineffective mental treatment.
    I haven’t cried in 16 years…unable, or unwilling.
    I listen to your music constantly while I’m out drinking, after once being 20 months sober.
    As a writer myself, every time I hear one of your songs, I understand them a little bit more…
    A couple weeks ago when I stopped a medication, my emotions came back…now…I can’t listen to you without crying.
    I want you to know, you give people like myself permission to feel, to be pissed off, and accept whom we are. As human beings, or artists, and students of navigating our own minds.
    You are truly loved and appreciated, brother…empathy doesn’t make us weak…it reminds us that what we do for ourselves, we do for others.

    • Ellis Bell
      Ellis Bell 3 months ago +10

      Joshua, you've probably heard "thank you for your service" many times. Reading your comment, words fall short. All I can say from one woman to one man that gave up so much for so many is that I love you. Simply put. I love you. I thank you. I keep my promises and I promise I will always keep you in my thoughts and prayers everyday. If their is anything I can do..
      I'm a drummer. I know that music is excellent therapy. I'm glad you have that and Ren to help.

    • Kelly
      Kelly 3 months ago +7

      This was so beautiful to read. I feel like Ren was put on this earth to share his pain in order to help heal people. I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through, but I'm glad that coming of the meds and connecting with your higher self is finally helping. Know that you are loved and supported, and by sharing your story, you too are helping others. It's always ok to be vulnerable. Take good care of you ❤

    • Bear Bait
      Bear Bait 3 months ago +12

      Joshua, I served on Walter Reed’s Ward 57 in 2006. I was a tall blond in a white consult jacket. Perhaps we met. You are my brother and I pray for each of us. Years later I suffered a multi-trauma and I walk the walk. My mottos changed from, “One can do more…” to “Courageous suffering begets fierce joy.” You and I are loved and admired more than we can ever know. I pray for your peace, and that joy.

    • Suzanne Ordish
      Suzanne Ordish 3 months ago

      @Bear Bait Wow, fierce joy. Thats me all over.

  • Cindy Adzuki Chang
    Cindy Adzuki Chang 2 months ago

    My god, what a beautiful and painful piece. This song broke me down. You are such a gifted musician, story teller, and poet.

  • Dominik Black
    Dominik Black 2 months ago +4

    I found you and your music about a year ago with Violet's Tale. I was in a dark time then and you sorta just hit home and i fell in love with your message and your passion. You've helped me through some really tough times and I'd like to thank you. It's taken time for me to actually sit and listen to this song because I know what it's about and what it means to you. I'm so sorry for your loss and I really hope your friend is in a good place right now, watching you and seeing the man you've become. I'm having a few drinks right now, and one is going to be for you and yours. Keep doing what you're doing Ren. Even in the darkest times, we can always find the light

  • Ratmanprisma
    Ratmanprisma 2 months ago

    I have never witnessed anything that has given me goosebumps like this. This is truly a work of art.

  • Laura Hulland
    Laura Hulland Month ago +2

    I came here from a Sinéad o Connor video and someone said your monologue at the end of this was brilliant and got wrenching (nothing compares to you is her love song to her dead mother and she says she was thinking of her when she sang it) so I popped over to listen. You’re super talented. Reminded me of how I felt when I listened to Eminem back in the 90’s. Please take comfort and strength from their fans. You clearly see the consequences of Suic!de so I hope you stay for your family, friends and fans. God bless you ❤

  • Mercedes Warren Ash

    Two days before you released this I was writing my own letter, but waited for my birthday because I was wanting to launch my own channel. Your release + Sam’s seemed like a gift to give myself more time to find the right words and perspectives to direct my voice. Sadly my chosen editor, a brilliant creative genius introducing me to see in a multitude of ways, such as one photo being a universe and blueberries in one moment. That moment for me made me fall further in love and in awe of her brilliant beautiful mind. Sadly even though I’d listened to this and absorbed it to save my own life, she had not internalized the same hope for a better future.
    I’d dealt with mental illness challenges for over 30 years & chronic pain for almost 20 thereafter. She’d had been battling mental illness for almost 11 years and chronic pain for almost 4 years. I will always miss the mind that told me about the blueberry universe on the wall of the chronic pain clinic at children’s hospital so many years ago. When I have the words & ability to share our stories it will be a significant contribution towards my survival & that of my remaining family.

  • laurafromliverpool
    laurafromliverpool 3 months ago +898

    It feels like a privilege to be allowed so far into your heart Ren. I'm sorry for the pain you feel.

    • Nit Witter
      Nit Witter  3 months ago +24

      sometimes it’s too much to keep it in and with that, he will continue to help those that are afraid to reach out.
      we are witnessing a big push in the movement that’s long overdue. 🫶
      Thanks Ren, your vulnerability is inspiring further than you know. You understand marketing and how to get into peoples souls of all ages, job well done and you deserve to find your own inner happiness.

    • Ana Milojevic
      Ana Milojevic 3 months ago +9

      Beautifuly put!

    • namoric
      namoric 3 months ago +10

      That's it. those are the words I was looking for. Well said.

    • rockinrobbie1985
      rockinrobbie1985 3 months ago +8

      He's not alone. A lot of us feel this way 😞😢

    • laurafromliverpool
      laurafromliverpool 3 months ago +3

      @rockinrobbie1985 I'm sorry for yours too. ❤

  • Angela Green
    Angela Green 12 days ago +1

    This is the rawest,most honest song I have ever heard. Thank you, Ren. Your honesty honors us.

  • Swen Oyme
    Swen Oyme 3 months ago +4

    I remember discovering you in a busking video a few years ago. Seeing how far you've come, and everything you've gone through on the way. The world is gonna know you. Make the ground shake, Ren!

  • Jacqueline Barfoot
    Jacqueline Barfoot 2 months ago +1

    love this track Ren, every song is a step in healing the wounds. I too lost a close friend to suicide, so I can relate to this song very much Ren. X

  • Sunny TheKitKat
    Sunny TheKitKat 2 months ago

    This song is so tragically beautiful Ren. I'm so sorry you've experienced such pain.

  • Elizabeth Gregory
    Elizabeth Gregory 3 months ago

    I am in awe of you Ren. The emotion and feeling just tumbles from the screen, from your words, from your voice straight into my heart. No other artist has ever touched me like you. You are simply amazing

  • Candice Welch
    Candice Welch 3 months ago +450

    45 years ago I drove my car off a bridge. Last week I contemplated an overdose the difference between now and then; I know the feeling will pass. Keep writing Ren, it's needed.

    • pauli_marie7
      pauli_marie7 3 months ago +36

      I am glad that you're still here.
      I hope you'll feel better soon. I hope you know how strong you are and how much the world is better off with you in it.

    • Robert Highsmith
      Robert Highsmith 3 months ago +23

      You're loved. I love you, friend. Reach out if you ever want to talk. You're not alone

    • Hyza
      Hyza 3 months ago +18

      stay strong friend 🤍 proud of you for surviving

    • MsRedbelly
      MsRedbelly 3 months ago +14

      Much love & strength to you. I hope you find joy & adventures in the future that make your life richer.
      I’ve recently grappled with wanting to give up since my partner drowned in late January. He too battled suicidal ideation & depression for many years. It seems he drowned accidentally but we’ll never really know. He had said to me before he wanted the sea to take him away.

    • BlueMoon9
      BlueMoon9 3 months ago +10

      Same, I used to attempt it so often but not now, I know things get better plus I don't want to miss what Ren is gonna do next! Lol

  • Shannon Slack
    Shannon Slack Month ago +7

    This really hit me, especially during the last part when Ren put his entire heart and soul into how he felt. An amazing song that has and will touch people like me.

  • TMS
    TMS  3 months ago

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and the pain and the way you share it. As much pain that is in this song, this is a piece that could save people. Mad respect and love.

  • Scott Goff
    Scott Goff 3 months ago +9

    Ren . Thank you for your words and music . You did suicide great . I’m a 61 year old veteran and I certainly wish you all the best . You help us realize we’re not alone .

  • chuff06
    chuff06 24 days ago

    Brought me to tears in the street brother, all of your music is so powerful but this one really got me ❤️🙏

  • Aileen O'Keeffe
    Aileen O'Keeffe 2 months ago

    I love this song so much, it brings up the worst points in my life life which is so difficult to carry around or even say out loud. Being affected by it but also feeling those urges at the worst points is a part of being human that I wish was given the kindness and openess you do justice to. Ren thank you, I don't know what kind of works you make in the future but this song is enough to shake off my apathy and try to face the world honestly. I hope you stand tall knowing the world is a much better place with you in it.

  • Michael Abbott
    Michael Abbott 3 months ago +497

    This is not a career, not a march to fame, this is a man's artist journey we get to follow 🙏❤️

    • Eve Chose Knowledge
      Eve Chose Knowledge  3 months ago +10

      Beautifully said. ✨🙏🏼✨ What a privilege to see his truth as an artist, and more importantly an amazing soul.

    • Ryan Henro
      Ryan Henro 3 months ago +3

    • Bobby Walker
      Bobby Walker 3 months ago +3

      So true, Ren will be recognised for his greatness nothing else

    • Nicole Schickova
      Nicole Schickova 3 months ago +3

  • Lilith Phoenix
    Lilith Phoenix Month ago +1

    Not a dry eye in the house. 💔🥺 GBNF to all our early fallen loved ones.
    Bloody gorgeous tribute to your bro Ren. 💖 thank you for sharing this story with us.

  • J T
    J T 2 months ago +1

    I don't know
    How to explain how right this is
    How right he is
    I'm 200% here for all of it
    Thank you Ren for making Truth

  • Francesca
    Francesca 3 months ago +1

    YOU are really very very talented, my friend 💜

  • PegC
    PegC Month ago

    My god, Ren! Each time I listen to this I get more emotions…memories!
    I love your music, what’s more is I love the movement we all are creating!!! ❤

  • Slot Metal
    Slot Metal 2 months ago +11

    7-22-23 it’s been the roughest few days since my brother took his own life. I’m lost. I’m broken. This song is hitting me beyond words. Hold your loved ones close. Rest in peace Chris. I miss you absurd.

    • Maggie_n_Mitch23
      Maggie_n_Mitch23 2 months ago

      I can hear your tears , , I'm so sorry for your loss 😥

    • Slot Metal
      Slot Metal 2 months ago

      That means a lot. Thank you.

    • Jacob Perez
      Jacob Perez 12 days ago

      My heart breaks for you and yours: "come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
      Hold fast to the word of life.
      I hope you find truth peace and love.

  • Shooter Perth
    Shooter Perth 3 months ago +571

    Hi Ren. I’m a 55yo Veteran who suffers from PTSD,Major chronic depression,Bipolar disorder plus many physical issues. I cannot explain how much your music resonates in me. THANK YOU. Never give up your truth,you are helping people in ways that you and I cannot imagine . I pray for your strength to carry on in this disjointed world and for your happiness and success. Again THANK YOU. I lost 7 brothers in a single year from 4 different wars a while back I wish they had had the opportunity to hear this,maybe some of them would still be around. To all my veteran brothers and sisters out there never,give up I can tell you from my own personal struggles and attempts that there is hope and light on the other side I’ve seen and lived it. I love and pray for you all no matter where you served or who with . One foot in front of the other and NEVER give up,it’s what we do.

    • Trent Walter
      Trent Walter 3 months ago +14

      Thank you for your service, I wish u all the best.

    • Doc Marbles
      Doc Marbles 3 months ago +6

      Whole heartedly agree!

    • Diamonddog59
      Diamonddog59 3 months ago +3

      Be well x

    • Thomas Norman
      Thomas Norman 3 months ago +7

      You are not alone friend.

    • Mike McLean
      Mike McLean 3 months ago +10

      Kind words from someone who is experiencing what you have gone through, 1st thank you for your service, 2nd keeping an open mind look into micro-dosing magic mushrooms, there seems to be a lot of great potential in helping with depression. Lots of info on you tube, try to find one you trust

  • Shivonne
    Shivonne 3 months ago

    Thank you Ren! Your music is bringing many of us back to life!

  • mattress33
    mattress33 3 months ago

    Oh my... that smashed me right in the feels. Relatable Ren. Very relatable. Tears in my eyes for you and for me and for those we've lost. Big love for what you're doing brother!

  • Forbez R
    Forbez R 2 months ago

    A lyric has never hit me so hard as "what it felt like to look down and see tranquility, one sudden movement in a world of possibility" I was right back there in the moment of that consideration... Thank you for exposing so much not only for yourself but to help others drowning in the darkness

  • Richard Potter
    Richard Potter 2 months ago +1

    Powerful comments, sending much love and hope to all of you out there. Don't give up, there's always a way. ❤

  • Nicholas Edmonds
    Nicholas Edmonds 2 months ago

    In a surface-level world where all we see and hear is the facade..... your music speaks deeply. your refreshing and its obvious you're authentic...... and seeps out from every aspect. And I appreciate it.

  • EarthyBlendPOV
    EarthyBlendPOV 4 months ago +2011

    You’re a beautiful soul Ren. Thank you for everything you do.

    • Jakob Kellner
      Jakob Kellner 3 months ago +35

      Yes, a beatiful soul, you hit it !
      I am gonna travel to England because of him to See him live❤

    • Dave Thornton Photography
      Dave Thornton Photography 3 months ago +11

      exactly my sentiment, what a truly unique & special soul, the world needs this right now with all the BS we're being told to comply with

    • Daniella Elaine Kilcline
      Daniella Elaine Kilcline 3 months ago +7

      Already had it on repeat

    • Etha
      Etha 3 months ago +4

      Second this

    • Kris Mcgowan
      Kris Mcgowan 3 months ago +10

      My exact thoughts! Not interested in these type songs but his way with words are masterfull ,world & life topics could only come from someone goin through or been through it makes me want to & not live his life which is a weird juxtaposition as normal subcontious would have stans wanting 110% to be in their "idols " place, for an artist so young he's found a look on the world I've not long embraced at 40 & fk me I've lived a few lives 😂, mad respect!!

  • Diana Garcia
    Diana Garcia 3 months ago +2

    you are the most amazing artist i discovered in the last years! every time goose bumps when a new video comes up.... and thinking how can someone be so talented! just amazing!!!

  • 85481888
    85481888 Month ago +1

    Ren, the way you describe the writing process for this song it seems like it just flowed out so I don't want to suggest an intention that wasn't there.
    That said, with this song I think you've done something amazing. A lot of sad music provides a way to feel our negative feelings which also provides a sense of catharsis. The first half of this song is like that. The music feels light and dreamy and the lyrics aren't overly blunt. It captures, to me, the almost detached and certainly isolated way we tend to think about our own misery. It becomes a world of its own. For anyone suffering and in regard to anyone who has suffered I am not saying those feelings aren't real but that we get wrapped up and smothered by them and they can build a barrier between us and life.
    What is absolutely stunning here is the second half tearing the listener out of that reverie and pulling us down into reality again. To take a hard, uncompromising look at the devastation suic*de leaves in its wake. Not to blame or shame anyone for feeling this way. It's just a brutally, achingly honest expression of loss. And I think, for those who suffer with these feelings, it may force us to look at the real world we live in. The people around us who care. We are a part of this world and we all make an impression, we are all human and we all matter.
    I understand that this is all deeply personal to you Ren and so I don't want to twist it into something more general. Rather I feel that your courage in sharing something so honestly may resonate with many in a unique way. Your honesty and vulnerability is a treasure and I am grateful that you habe decided to share it with the world.
    Perhaps I've missed the mark and perhaps I have managed to sound foolish in doing so but I felt i had to share how this has touched and affected me.

  • Izaclimbing
    Izaclimbing 3 months ago +13

    Ren, you are so important to music culture right now....im speechless! The monologue had me properly choked. I've lost 3 friends to suicide in my life, and this shit hit hard 💔

  • Vanessa S
    Vanessa S 2 months ago

    Its been a week since I listened to "Hi Ren". With someone that also has a autoimmune issues (Hashimoto's, Idiopathic uticaria, and a few doctors leaning to Lupus), ADHD, and the depression/anxiety that follows your music hit me hard. This song, hi ren, and so many other amazing pieces you made are therapeutic.

  • No Other Lover
    No Other Lover 3 months ago +2

    What an amazing song and the video is just wow! You are brilliant. x

  • blacksheepboyz
    blacksheepboyz Month ago +2

    20 years of Army baggage, some lines hit me like a tuning fork that makes so l;oud it makes me grit my teeth to listen as it hits spot on well past the comfort zone. Beautiful.

  • T.A.H.
    T.A.H. 3 months ago +1

    I can really relate to all of your lyrics. Love your music. You are an creator

  • Lazy Syd's
    Lazy Syd's 3 months ago +1

    Just gets better and better and better. Such fearless music, wonderful stuff.

  • Angry Old Canadian
    Angry Old Canadian 3 months ago +1

    Damn, another Ren song that reaches down into the darkest parts of my soul.

  • Memooh
    Memooh 3 months ago

    This hits deep, Ren is such a musical genius

  • Wendy Odum
    Wendy Odum 3 months ago +195

    This song was released on what would've been my son Elijah's 24th birthday. He took his own life on September 24, 2021. Ren your music touches me, moves me. Your honesty helps me heal. So thankful that you exist.....

    • Bear Bait
      Bear Bait 3 months ago +7

      Prayers lifted for the repose of your son, Elijah’s soul and for your peace.

    • Keriousity Corner
      Keriousity Corner  3 months ago +4

      much love big hugs & lots of compassion. my heart is aching for you.

    • Deborah Carson
      Deborah Carson 3 months ago +4

    • Kim and Dana Haagenson
      Kim and Dana Haagenson 3 months ago +1

      SO sorry for your loss.

    • Tim Hornes
      Tim Hornes 3 months ago +1

      That is very sad to hear. I wish you all the best! ❤️

  • Brigitte W
    Brigitte W 2 months ago +2

    I dont know how I survived without you Ren. You're helping so many of us. Love you so much man 🖤

  • Dayle Swanbo
    Dayle Swanbo 3 months ago +1

    Mate, I have only recently stumbled across you music, and I have gone down the rabbit hole and listened to everything you have done... and I am just blown away. You are an absolutely amazing artist, each song takes you on a journey and grabs you and pulls you in. After hours (in around 100hrs at this point!) I listened to sickboi and then found out about your horrible journey with misdiagnosed Lymes disease. I am now 48 this year, was misdiagnosed in 2012 and had pretty much the same journey as you, unfortunately. Now have crippling Rhumatoid Arthritis and only recently found the right mix of tablets for Lymes management and now an injection every 2 weeks which has changed my life . Keep on keeping on, and doing what you are doing. It will come good mate, I will be keeping everything crossed that it is soon. You are an inspiration and Welsh as well 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿. Sorry for the wall of text....but I had to let you know how your music is touching people all over the world. Peace Ren ✌️

  • Praxea
    Praxea 3 months ago +9

    I lost my friend 2 years ago. I still feel it... or the absence of... or whatever that feeling is. Thank you for this.

  • Luyanda Mbatha
    Luyanda Mbatha Month ago

    So damn creative. And this is raw. I like Ren's music with all my heart.

  • Dan Moon
    Dan Moon 3 months ago

    I haven’t cried in so long and you broke me with this won man. Keep doing what you do it’s keeping me awake and alive 🖤

  • Ilan Lerman
    Ilan Lerman 3 months ago +110

    The honesty in your emotion is utterly vital. You’re doing something hugely important, Ren.

  • dISCO pony
    dISCO pony 27 days ago +1

    This song hits hard. It allows me to process and feel emotions i try to suppress. Thank you for sharing.

  • Isis
    Isis 3 months ago +4

    A friend of mine recommended this song to me today. The emotion in your voice, especially during the last part accompanied by piano, gives me chills. Sorry for your loss❤

    • Sara Bevan
      Sara Bevan 3 months ago

      You've heard Hi, Ren, though...?

    CL4PTRAP 3 months ago

    I had to what a couple days to listen to this song I knew it was going to bring tears I can only imagine what it was like to write it your such an inspiration ren thank you❤

  • SrH420024HrS
    SrH420024HrS 3 months ago +2

    Never have I found an artist that speaks the fluid words of pain I hold inside . You saved me. Your words your music your story. Thank you.

  • Svengali Sounds
    Svengali Sounds 3 months ago +1

    Man that last part was a real punch in the gut, what a song. So raw, just fucking incredible YET AGAIN

  • Chloe Mcewan
    Chloe Mcewan 3 months ago +97

    Everyones crying and full of love at the same time.. ❤ Rennnnnn!! Thanks so much for everything you do. You will save lives with this song.

  • Demonicsniper
    Demonicsniper Month ago +1

    So much depth to this song as usual😍 stay strong 🙏

  • Jellybean
    Jellybean 2 months ago

    Hi Ren, Your music is amazing ! You're such a strong human being going through what you have and your daily struggles. You remind me every day that I'm not alone and if you can do life, I can do life! Thank you for being you. Keep doing you!

  • Sue
    Sue 3 months ago

    This world needs you Ren, and you need all of us in your world❤

  • Paul Cridland
    Paul Cridland 13 days ago

    Holy crap, just wow, that hits hard man. That last minute and a half had tears rolling out my eyes. I would love to hear an album with more guitar and piano in the future.

  • Clare Duncan
    Clare Duncan 3 months ago +6

    You never, ever miss. Your talent is fucking endless x

  • Tyrone Hauraki
    Tyrone Hauraki 4 months ago +207

    Your an absolute legend my brother. Because of you, now we all know Joe, and his memory will forever live on. I’m certain he would be so proud of you

  • BuddhaScapes
    BuddhaScapes 3 months ago +6

    You truly are gifted, to bring that much emotion through a song and place it into us takes something really special.

  • mailam
    mailam Month ago +3

    Time to add this to my sad playlist. I shouldn't keep my sorrow inside but this definitely helps me not get 'destructive'

  • Callum Barnes Shankly

    as a person who has gone through this by losing my own brother to suicide this one is one of my favorites by ren and its a very big and meaningful message form me. respect to you ren. youre the one thats going to help alot of people and you already are doing so. you have my full respect.

  • Alexander Stone
    Alexander Stone 2 months ago

    I’ve never related to persons music like this before every song I listen to hits home thanks for everything you do and I sincerely hope you know much you’ve changed people lives for the better, thank you for all that you do and I hope nothing but the best for you and hope someday I’ll be able to return the favour

  • Martin Traynor
    Martin Traynor 3 months ago +5

    Ren, I just want to say thank you for wearing your heart on your sleeve. This is so powerful, the last verse is just everything. Thank you, thank you 🙏

  • Amanda Lincoln
    Amanda Lincoln 3 months ago +561

    Hi Ren…I’m sorry you lost your friend. I lost my son. He would’ve loved your music! Thank you for writing such a beautiful song. You will save lives with your art ❤

    • Stacey Cline
      Stacey Cline 3 months ago +4


    • Alys Marcus
      Alys Marcus 3 months ago +13

      already has

    • Kevin Wilson
      Kevin Wilson 3 months ago +10

      Oh, wow... your comment hit me there just as the song was starting.
      Sorry about your son, Amanda x

    • Koenraad Koerts
      Koenraad Koerts 3 months ago +4

      Sterke en veel wijsheid .

    • Oggham
      Oggham 3 months ago +2


  • Daniel Marshall
    Daniel Marshall Month ago +1

    Ren, man. Thankyou. Your music really resonates with me. I've shown your stuff to friends. They don't all get it but all seem to respect it. I struggle daily although everything is great. I feel guilty af. I wish that I could be an open book like you. I can't.

    MEG FRANCOEUR 2 months ago

    So beautiful, so sad. I’ve lost friends….almost lost my sister to this. It never gets easier to deal with…. Ren, I just want to give you a hug to say there was nothing you could have done to save Joe….I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with the pain and guilt of thinking you could have done things differently….love what you do in your music…..hope you continue to bring hard subjects to light……

  • David Thomas
    David Thomas 3 months ago

    This is amazing, powerful and heartbreaking. The beats during the first half are really excellent; I like how the kick drum holds down the pulse while the snare (or clacks, I guess) don't really hit the backbeat but play more of a Samba or something. It's catchy and super-creative.

  • chris ellis
    chris ellis 3 months ago +2

    Your talent is stunning, the lyrics, the twists the turns,the remix’s, the fusion of bits of your other stuff that always seem to fit, the different types of music you use, the way you wear your heart on your sleeve and your beautiful transparency

  • Suzanne Hengst
    Suzanne Hengst 3 months ago +56

    Ren, I am a 52 year old schizophrenic. There are things that I would love to share and say to you but I am terrified of the internet so I will just say this; When I was in my teens (before meds and therapy) I had decided to take my own life. One young man in one of my classes, not a boy I knew personally, figured it out and patiently but determined would not let me go home until I promised that I wouldn't. After several hours of me dodging the truth and denying his accusations I finally, just to get rid of him, I bitterly swore to him that I would never take my own life. I kept my promise. Several years later he died of cancer and I often think of him knowing that because of him, I still draw breath to this day. Every time I smile, laugh, celebrate my birthday I think of him and quietly in my heart dedicate it all to him. You are so profoundly brave to me. I see his fire and passion to help in you. I relate to so much of your work and I find it inspiring and validating. I just want to say that from one human being to another, I see you, I feel it all too, I love you like a brother, and thank you for seflessly giving so deeply of yourself so brazenly to the masses to reach ones like me. 💞

    • Kay Gee
      Kay Gee 3 months ago +3

      That was beautiful and well said ❤

    • Suzanne Hengst
      Suzanne Hengst 3 months ago +3

      @Kay Gee Thank you ❤

    • Malachird Raoul
      Malachird Raoul 3 months ago +1

      Life always has an interesting way of turning around, for good or bad, it is what molds us, and keeps us as we should be. Glad you are still here, dont leave us until its time

    • Vanessa Wood
      Vanessa Wood 3 months ago

      That's beautiful 💞

  • Josh Smith
    Josh Smith 3 months ago +1

    Absolutely INCREDIBLE , very moving. Great work.

  • Shivvies
    Shivvies 25 days ago

    I bawl my eyes out every time. I lost a friend like that and as a child I did not believe. I still carry it to this day. I understand, man. You understand.

  • Jared Horton
    Jared Horton 3 months ago

    Watched a ton of reactions, watched this as it premiered, lyrically fantastic, wish more people didn’t skip over the like “ draw for the sword then drive through the armor” I’m so beyond impressed with you and your art I’m so excited for the ride to come!!

  • Dr Strangedove
    Dr Strangedove Month ago +7

    I've listened to this 10+ times today, grieving the loss of three loved ones in just the last few months, this has really let me just sit and feel everything today. Sometimes it's just hard to let yourself feel, but listening to this opened the emotional floodgates. Thank you for that.