Why are the Dutch so direct?

For a Dutch person, to not to be indirect means to be insincere and possibly even considered rude. Why waste each other's time or giving false hope? Just be direct and we know how to move forward.
It isn't rude and you don't have to feel offended. You immediately know where everyone stands, and you can still convince others... and they may even tell you how!

As someone who is half Japanese half Dutch, I honestly think directness as shown by the Dutch is the healthiest way to go about things. Overall, I think it's healthier for the mental and emotional in the long run.

As a Dutch person working for an American company, I really had to get used to hearing 'Great question!', EVERY TIME a question was asked. When everything is 'awesome', 'great' or 'the best it's ever been!', those words lose meaning and I never know when you truly appreciate my feedback, or this or that is really going well.
By now I realize 'Great question!' just means 'I am glad you are interested enough in what I said to ask a question and I want to encourage you to ask more questions in the future'.

As another Dutch person has already pointed out, some of us really *are* actually rude and the cultural directness might make that hard to pinpoint.
One red flag is when a Dutch person takes this weird pride in their own "directness". Another one is when one's behavior is often excused as "just their typical directness" by either their peers or themselves.
In both these cases, odds are it's an actual toxic person who uses this "typical Dutch directness" as a free way ticket to bully others.

As a British person now living in the Netherlands for almost 3 years, this was something I really had to get used to. Now, I really love the directness - there's no trying to figure out where someone stands or any falseness, you know where you stand from the start (even if it catches you off guard sometimes!)

It's interesting to see the Netherlands and Japan so far removed from the context spectrum. In history, the Netherlands was one of the earliest few who could successfully trade with Japan. In modern day, the NL and Japan have good business relations as well. My family is Dutch, my dad worked with a group of Japanese clients who really valued his work. Dad was placed quite close to the Japanese team lead during a work dinner, for example. Honesty and putting those words into action are really powerful in business!

I think a Dutch person would just say: no wednesday is not possible. He would not even thank you for asking. As a Dutch person, too much polite words make me uncomfortable. When someone is obviously making efforts to hide the true message in order to protect my feelings, I start to suspect that his true message is much more hurtful than it seems because apparently he thinks I can not bear the truth. There is nothing hurtful in my unavailability on wednesday so why be indirect about it?

From a slightly different perspective. I am a Dutchie and I am also on the autism spectrum. I like clear and direct communication, because if it isn't I have to work really hard to find the intent of what someone is saying (that part has to do with my autism). Having traveled a bit in countries that have a much more indirect cultures was a lot of fun, but conversations could be exhausting, because I would always have to try and figure out intent from context. This made blunder a few times too. I am pretty lucky that I was born in culture that prefers direct communication, because that is what my autistic brain prefers also.

I studied translation and have dutch directness (mom is dutch, father is french). My teachers would always say this influenced my translations and I had to "elaborate" more. I told them that "elaboration" was the cause of mistranslation and we headbutted a lot until graduation😅

As a person who lives in the Netherlands, I have noticed the Dutch are direct, but they are also easy to make friends with because of this. You know what they want and what they like and where they stand. This makes is easy to adapt yourself to them so that you both can have a good time which further deepens the friendship. I've also noticed that a Dutch person will visit my house or invite me to their house way earlier into the friendship than people of different cultures do.

As a Dutch person I went to England with my school the thing my English teacher kept repeating was ‘say twice as much thank you as you are used to.’😂

Dutchie here! I also would like to note that Amsterdam (which is very often used as synonym to the Netherlands and where I feel most foreign people seem to move to) is the place where people are the most direct. (and other major cities) Other areas of the Netherlands actually have another pace at which they live, where directness is actually less prominent. Amsterdam's bluntless/directness is actually a concept on it's own, where even other Dutchies sometimes can't handle it at all. If someone is really direct: "(S)He's probably from Amsterdam" or shortened to "Amsterdammer"
Other Pro's to directness: I know where I stand with people AND I can adjust to that (or choose not to). It saves me from being stabbed in the back! I can't read people's thoughts, so they'd have to tell me if they would like something from me.
Simple example: A collegue of mine placed his half-empty cup on a table right behind a door. (he did that more often) On occassion, if another collegue walked in and opened the door too wide, the cup fell to the ground spilling the coffee. Instead of mentioning this to the owner of the cup. The other collegue cleaned it up and went on with her life. BUT she kept a grudge! Everytime he placed that cup on the table she'd be angry. "Cant he see that that's a problem?", she'd say behind his back.
I asked: "Did you tell him?" She hadn't and was planning on trying to make him see the problem without telling.
Direct me asked the first collegue not to place the cup there because it could fall over when the doors opens. His reaction: "Oh, didn't think of that."
He never placed the cup there again, crisis averted, by just being a bit more direct.
So yeah, being direct can sometimes even save (work)relationships.
Also, I think the "Are you stupid?"of Sven Kramer was actually unneccesarily rude. I get why he didn't want to say it, and it's fine that he didnt want to, but calling someone stupid is still rude.

Being Dutch, I would just like to add that there are also people in the NL that are just plain rude. So the trick is learning to recognise when people are just being honest/direct with you or when there's an asswipe just being rude to you. 😅

As Ukrainian, I like that because we are also direct in communication. Of course depends from ppl btw 😁

As a Dutch person I feel like our directness keep us connected and real with each other.

Dutch directness also implies to telling people what your insecurities are. It helped me a lot to just tell people whatever you're insecure about. This way, people will take your insecurities in account while conversating and not be like "oh this person is being really awkward for no reason"

I'm Belgian and my country is like the opposite of direct but i visit the Netherlands a lot and i love that directness, you don't have to guess what Dutch people think about you or other things.

As an autistic Dutch person, I am so very glad that my culture is more inclined towards just getting to the damn point, it saves so much time and gives me exactly the feedback I need from the interaction.

There's a difference between being direct as in communicating with clear intend vs having total disregard to someones feelings. This does not mean we are inconsiderate. Most Dutch people will know when to be honest and when to be polite and act interested. There's a time and place for everything.

I’m Dutch with an American dad and a Dutch mother. I grew up bilingual and have dual citizenship. Whenever I visit my family in the states I notice how much of a culture shock it is for me whenever I visit a store or a restaurant. Usually in Europe, when you go shopping you’ll be greeted , asked once if you need anything maybe and then they usually leave you alone. In the states it seems like a whole ritual. They greet u , ask you how you’re doing, if you’re looking for anything special. Compliment you on your outfits ( even when you’re wearing the most basic shit ever 😂) and telling you about special offers “you have to try our new yadayada”. Even if you say “ oh i’m just looking around they check in on you every 10 minutes . It honestly made me realize how much of an introvert I am bc I hate social contact and I got so overwhelmed and over stimulated by just one afternoon of shopping 😂. And most of those people were really sweet and I actually like talking to Americans. It’s just funny to me how much more reserved we are as Dutch people when it comes to customer service.

Had a Dutch colleague in uni and imo he was way more friendly and punctual than other students from say, Japan or Brazil. If you asked him to study at the library, it was fast yes or no, boom done. No shyness or quietness, we wouldn't stop for food or coffee, he was direct and efficient. He was also very outdoorsy, a blast to go biking with.

I'm Dutch. My experience is that a lot of Dutch say A but think/do B. Most Dutch people often take pride in their supposedly direct communication style but really, out of, say, 10 Dutch people I would say 5 "act" direct (they communicate assertively but really aren't telling you what they actually think), 4 aren't direct at all (i.e. beating around the bush, or just politely not saying stuff to be socially desireable) and the remaining person actually is direct (meaning they say what they actually think about a subject, ask hard questions etc). So many times I heard a Dutch person say A but found out they do (and thus think) B.

About being conscious about directness: I just had a really Dutch style conversation with a top fortune 500 company based in the US. We had a major issue. Me and a collegae really spoke our mind. I am almost certain the other side was aware of Dutch directness but I could see a range of emotions. So after our negative feedback backed up by examples and evidence we took about 15 minutes (1/4 of the entire meeting) to make shure the busines relationship was still ok/ ok again.

On the part of arguing with professors: it's a huge part of getting to the level of your professor, being able to bring up opinions and being able to hold discussions over topics that most of the time there isn't a solid answer for is one of the biggest skills a scientist can have and therefore is heavily stimulated by both professors as well as universities as a whole here. Its a big difference with other countries but something that really elevates Dutch higher education above other countries

I'd even say that CEOs and professors in the Netherlands have even more respect for employees/students that argue with them in a direct and (for Dutch standards) respectful way, as they prove to be creative and critical thinkers.

As a Dutch person, and having an autism for life, I often warn people that things I might say that are offending just to give them heads up in this case when I talk to them. I had to learn that I have this autism at my 50th year, so I have been coping with that fact of 'rudeness' or 'blunt' for all those years and not really understand where I went wrong. Now coming to the point of your video, I find it enlighten that you study our culture and made this video, true that we are direct, but we do have our own quirks that people might pick up differently. But still, YOU HAVE A BROOD on your wall hanging, not many can say that! Thanks for the video man!

It's always a bit sad the "dutch directness" issue is reduced to the question whether we are rude.
There is actually a lot of nuance in the way we are direct. We also have introverts and extraverts, and we all have areas where we feel less or more comfortable to express ourselves.
I guess a defining attribute about our directness is that more often then not we assume the other person is safe and snug inside their comfortzone and we approach eachother as such. Sometimes that's not the case and this is something we pick up on really quickly and act upon without even thinking about it.
So no, we are not rude, we simply give eachother space to be who we are and our directness is a result of that because we are not in the habit of questioning it.
Edit: In the comments someone gave an example that perfectly illustrates this. They said when you get an invitation to go to a soccergame it's perfectly fine to decline "because you don't enjoy the game of soccer". That's something personal the other extender of the invitation has nothing to do with, so why is it polite to sugarcoat or even hide it? As a concept that doesn't make sense and to expect such is what we would consider rude.

I'd say language is a very big factor here.
Few foreign people learn to speak dutch, and there also lies a nuance in how to adequatley observe and state what exactly is this directness in culture, language and how people interact in daily life.
We do have our way of interacting in pleasant way.
To me being direct is being sincere, and that is the biggest honour I can give the people I get to meet. It's me offering them no reason to distrust me because they get to perceive me and decide for themselves if I'm someone they can relate to or not.
I'd like to mirror this video by stating I don't feel I can trust someone who's keeping up appearance or/and etiquette and manners; I don't know who I'm talking to when receiving desireable replies.
Fun fact: Even within the Netherlands there is a difference in how direct people are communicating and stating directly what they mean and think.
In the North there's directness; few words to state exactly what you think, in the south much less so, like beating around the bush to entice people in your way of seeing the issue.
Grts from Amsterdam

I'm Dutch and I really struggle trusting people who aren't straight to the point. It's like you never know what to expect and it could change any minute. Sometimes, Dutch directness even feels harsh to me sometimes, but I definitely prefer it over non-directness.

Tldr: respectfulness and honesty are on a spectrum culturally, and while the Netherlands definitely are shifted more towards honestly, we’re still pretty tame compared to for example Slavic cultures.
PS note: I guess this explains why both Russia (similar in communication culturally to Ukraine, I’d say) and the Netherlands are on the total left at 2:46 with negative feedback.
Being half-Ukrainian, half-Dutch, and living my whole life in the Netherlands, gives me a whole different perspective on things.
For me, us Dutch are not direct. Ukrainians are.
I guess it’s a scale wherein English culture is just… always being vague to people in order to not insult anyone, whereas Dutch people will tell you things much more quickly. However, a cashier at a store for example will still smile at you no matter how strange you act (unless you do something against the rules of course).
A Ukrainian one would literally walk up to you and ask you what you think you’re doing. Witnessed it once or twice while I was in Ukraine (quite a while ago).

In favor of Dutch directness: in our culture, truth and honesty are very important. Giving someone the impression that you think they cant handle the truth is no compliment. You would underestimate their strength. Therefor, indirect messages are perceived as (somewhat) insulting.

An excellent explanation of the Dutch directness. Should be viewed by everybody visiting or moving the Netherlands.

I didn't realize I was so dutch until I had to run a forum community.
When a mod did something wrong, (and everyone was gossiping about it)
I would just tell them, but also try to work together to help them approve.
(give tips, try to hear them out etc.)
But alot of the time I got told, your directness shocked me.
But in the end, alot of people did appreciate it.
Because I didnt sugarcoat anything, but told it as it is,
there was no confusing.
And after that first shock went down they soon realized the reason
I mentioned it to them was because I wanted to help them improve.
Still, I am shocked by how people can beat around the bush so much.
Just tell it as it is.

"There is little room to be creative." I think that's an interesting statement. If you're direct back, you can usually get to some creative new ideas. The barrier might more be in how you're communicating to each other rather than someone just not being open to ideas, suggestions or straight up different views entirely.

this is even the case in the Dutch armed forces.
there is often consultation with the group in order to arrive at the best action.
the commander ultimately has the last word, of course.
but we are aware that together we know more than just the commander. therefore, especially with the engineers, it is often the case that important decisions about the assignment to be carried out are taken together and adjusted if necessary.

I'm Dutch myself and what I notice a lot is that we always put swears or random diceases in the middle of sentences to express how bad/awful something is while other countries have that less. I always focus on being more polite when I speak to someone outside of the Netherlands lol.

For me as Dutchy the directness and honesty is a way of showing respect for another person. If I do not respect a person, I do not need to be honest.

We’re kind of a jack of all trades. I try to be polite while still being clear in my message. Others are flat out rude and others don’t mean to be rude, but sound like it.
In terms of education there’s also some stuff going on. We learn to be clear in our answers to questions. (I had another thing that we learned but I forgot what I was going to type.)
If someone asked me to fill in for them I’d say something like: ‘Sorry, but I can’t. I’ve already got something planned.’

I'm a Dutchman myself and I actually started wondering "am I that direct as well?". I know that I'm fairly nice to the people around me and respectful to the people I don't know, but just seeing how direct I sometimes can be online and in rl... I'm quite impressed to be honest.

I'm Dutch, and I think this directness is mostly seen in the big cities of the Netherlands. I come from a small village in the Netherlands where people tend to be way less direct compared to the big city areas. When I go to cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam, or Nijmegen, I notice that people there are way more direct, and even I can perceive them as rude. So i really think it depends on where you live in the Netherlands.

I'm Dutch and the indirect culture of other countries is sometimes hard to deal with. What do you mean and What do you expect from me. Do you want to say no or do you want help. Because being direct means being honest in what you want and need. Not so much about what you think about others. There is a difference

Words just weigh more in Holland. If you get a compliment form a direct communicator, you are sure it's from the heart and not for some shady reason or because of a hidden agenda. A second layer to dutch communication is that you can state emotional values as a reason why someone wants or does'nt want to do something. I sense that in indirect cultures (I live in Belgium, they are much more indirect) emotional values aren't really shared by direct communication but are avoided by reading between the lines. I still have trouble sensing the (to me) unclear communication about what somebody wants. And yes, people are raised in true democracy fashion at home. My kids have a say on what direction we go forward at home. Dutch culture also strongly uses everybodies opinion/expertise before going forward. Meetings often include a question round where everybody is asked if they want to add something to the meeeting that is relevant.

I have worked in a US-based multinational and in every meeting you would hear Americans going: "I appreciate what you're saying, but... " followed by several minutes of yadayadayada. From the second word, everyone would know that the guy meant: nope. All the Dutch guys in the meeting would just say yes or no, and where needed defend their answer with arguments. I could never get used to the endless yadayada.

I was born in the Netherlands and moved out with my grandparents to Costa Rica and eventually back into the Netherlands to live with my mother in 2010. Gotta say I’m still not over my culture shock. Also I’d like to add that at least in my experience (I have autism so there is space for bias, of course) people in the Netherlands are a lot louder as what goes for a normal tone of voice, and I often find it overwhelming… 😅 (my family is American and I’ve spent about half a year there as well, and for both Costa Rica and America I’d say people are a lot less loud there then they are here)

I go to an international colledge in the Netherlands (has a dutch person). We have countless nationalities at the school and the ones ice spoken to all have different reactions.
A Canadian Swiss student and student from the Caribbean found us to be rude but a German student liked the Dutch people, so did a student from Hong Kong.
We even have a course in the first year to help new students deal with the culture shock that comes with moving to a new country.

There is a dutch saying "doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg" which translates "if you act normal, you're acting crazy enough". This basically means that you don't need to beat around the bush, just act normal/direct.

As a Dutchman I don't trust people that easily if they need too many words, then I think why do they beat around the bush? I'm looking for a reason why they don't just tell it like it is. But I think it's pretty well explained and I'm very proud of our honesty and straight to the point character!🌹

I think another important aspect for the reason might actually be the language itself. (I am not sure about Dutch, but can talk about German which was shown pretty close to Dutch in those scales) - Trying to translate English to German gets especially hard when the passive is used for example. In German we just don't use it much and making it sound natural without losing the "indirectness" which the original text has can be pretty hard.

As a Dutchy I think the Dutch ice skater was not direct, he was rude. There was no reason to call that woman ‘stupid’, direct would have been: ‘no I wont do that.’

I appreciate directness because next to avoiding misunderstanding eachother which is good for business, it also helps me help others better. Please, dont hide your wishes, just tell me what you need or prefer so I can help you improve your day. That said, having worked with people from more indirect cultures helped me be more successful in communicating negative feedback in a more constructive way.

Dutch directness to me is all about saving time. I don't have time to waste. We are extremely busy people, often in a rush to get one appointment after the other. If the answer is no, then please just say no because there are at least 3 other things I could be doing in that timeframe. Not much is ever spontaneous in our culture, not even get-togethers or going out for dinner. Everything is planned weeks ahead and I like it that way. Time is precious.

I really like the coconut peach comparison. I am going to use that haha. As a dutchie my experience is also that us dutchies get very uncomfortable when it comes to compliments and showing graditude. Maybe it feels like showint to much vulnerability

As a Dutch person. I'm incredibly used to the directness. So much so that when this video started I just thought; "what the fuck is this guy talking about". But you are completely correct. Most of us are extremely direct. I do think there is another positive outcome of this fact worth mentioning. By being used to direct communication we take criticism less personal and are more likely to see it as a point of improvement instead of a personal offense.
Additionally, being open about who you are as a person, makes for a great way to get people to open up to you. I think one of the loveliest compliments I've ever received was from someone I met in the US. A girl descrived me as being the most 'genuine' person she had ever met. It honestly just made me smile thinking back at that moment. I will carry that complement with me for the rest of my life.
However, in general, I did come to realize that, in the US for example, when you are meeting random people the tend to be overly sweet. To the point where I often felt like I had stumbled into an overly and forcefully happy game show. People would, upon finding out we're foreigners, often say things like "wouw really , the Netherlands?! That's amazing". While in the reverse situation I would likely say "Dawm! You are a long way from home. What made you want to visit the Netherlands?"

When I first went to the US, a supermarket cashier greeted me with "How are you?" I thought hey, what a nice woman, so I tried to have a conversation with her and asked her all sorts of questions. How she was doing, how long she's been working here if she lives nearby. She looked questioningly at me then? In the other store I was greeted in the same way, only then did I find out that it was a more polite greeting without content.😂
In the Netherlands, 'How are you' is usually said by friends or colleagues. And often they also want more information from me, either that I have not seen them for a long time or that I have been ill. If a Dutch cashier asks me how I am doing, I will say politely that I am fine, but I will think why is she asking me this, she does not know me, or am I doing something wrong, does she want to warn me for something?

The Dutch directness (which I prefer to call 'to-the-point') most likely stems from our centuries long history of trading across the borders.
When communicating with someone in a less known language, you quickly find yourself dropping all the unnecessary chit-chat. First of all because you lack the vocabulary and secondly because it can create confusion. Time is money....just say want you want, cut to the chase and get it done.
And that just has become second nature.

I'm Dutch/Surinamese and I like it when people get straight to the point. There is less room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. One will know where they stand whilst skipping useless or fake formalitie (Not all formalities are useless of course, it depends on the situation). You don't waste a persons time and I find that to be assertive and respectful. It's flexible as well because you can still disagree or ask questions. A direct answer does not mean the end of a conversation, you can still discuss and share your point of view.
I used to think Americans were incredibly two-faced. But that was before I knew about the cultural difference. The overly niceness, followed by a (to me) cold shoulder was very confusing haha.

As a dutch person I think that our language already sounds very sarcastic or rude but when we use too much nice words like please and thanks sometimes makes it even more sarcastic

On the two scales the Netherlands and Germany are very close, but in the business and company culture the two are very different with Germany being very hierarchical. And about Calvinism, the Netherland is very different from most Scandinavian countries who also are influenced by Calvin. (just observations from a dutchie)

Great video!
As a Dutch person it's refreshing to find out how other cultures feel about ours.
You've very respectfully described our 'direct' culture and thoroughly answered all the questions that came up during the video.

I am a Dutch coconut and I once had an Iranian colleague. He explained the concept of Taarof to me, which is an Iranian form of politeness/etiquette. I just couldn’t wrap my head around how a society can even function like that… 😂

Simple way to explain dutch directness and what it ultimately boils down to is...efficient communication.

The hardest thing for me coming to terms with living in the Netherlands was that people thought me creepy, overly polite and a butt-kisser. I'm from Sapporo-Gaoka, Hokkeido... It took about ten years to dutch-up a little.

As a Dutch guy myself this has been some what of an eye opener, i always have these direct thoughts altho, i sometimes just however decide to not say it. I think its important to notice that for example when the Dutch visits a comedy special, they will clap or pretend to laugh at a joke just to keep the show going or even if they didnt understand it they will still pretend they got the joke just so the person on stage wouldnt feel bad and continued the show.

Even within The Netherlands there are distinct variations of directness. Basicly it is the difference between the urban areas containing the "randstad" (amsterdam, den haag, rotterdam, utrecht etc) and the nature/farmlands outside of it.

I’d just like to add, as a Dutch person, that stating directly that im not available on wednesday does not imply unwillingness, it could mean that as an easy way not to meet, but generally pertains to the assumption we would have to schedule a different day. ✌️

Directness was also born from fighting bigger powers. The English army had class hierarchy in their armies, which slowed things down, or could lead to major blunders. When you have a tiny army fighting such a nation, making fast quick decisions, having people act on what they see, not on the status of their commander can make a huge difference. We see this too in Israel, which feels surrounded by enemies (regardless of your political opinion on the matter) and needs versatile people being able to act fast. In 1672 the Netherlands was attacked by all neighbors, all who were bigger. The same with water defense: act quick, and have everyone on board, because not agreeing with political opponents should not sabotage the shared interest of keeping heads above water.

Sometimes direct answers in any way can cause some akwardness between people because the conversations are shorter and need to come up with a lot of topics to proceed the conversation. But overall the directness is very handy as well because when you are in a hurry and someone tries to talk to you, you can just ask to talk later without needing to worrie about the other person thinking youre rude.
The best thing about our language is the scarcasm we often use 😂

As someone from Flandria, Belgium, i can agree. We are ( i'm not sure tho) not as direct, but stil we usually get to the point. Hell, there is even a metafor about being indirect ( "rond de pot draaien", and it wouldn't surprise me if there are even more). We are encouraged in school to speak up about anything, say if we don't agree with what the teacher says and so on.

As for a Dutch person i do understand how it can be rude because my mom is from Ghana and can take the simple answers as rude while if i do the same for my dad or dutch friends they don't really care how i say it so yeah big difference of my African and Dutch part of the family (and i always speak English to friends which effected my accent to the point that my teacher thought i was american)

As a Dutch person myself, we do say a lot of times what we think and how we feel about certain things. However, I feel like if we don't get straight to the point you're only wasting time. Most people in The Netherlands appreciate honesty and being direct about things, as it's easier to trust someone like that. But also, because that's how most of us grew up with. We took it from our parents and yes I do agree when you're a child and your parents are just straight forward with things you're insecure about, it does hit a spot. But as long as it happens with good intentions, there is nothing to feel upset about. Of course there is a difference with being straight forward or just being rude. But I'm really sure you can see the difference and I also feel like most people appreciate direct and honest people more, than someone who doesn't get straight to the point ''in case they hurt your feelings''. Or when they're not being direct, but just rude. Because for most of us, a direct person is seen as a honest person. They're not afraid to share their opinion, which seems pretty trust worthy in my eyes and I believe in many too.

We just want to be as honest as can be and not giving false hope, we cut the chase, and tell it as it is. We don't mean to be rude!!

The shortest way from a to b is a straight line. By analogy with our flat country where we move from one place to another in an efficient manner, our communication also honors in this way. I enjoy working with people from all kinds of cultures and I am regularly struck by how many words these cultures use to express themselves compared to the Dutch. I take that into account in conversations, but I can't always avoid directness in my conversation. We're not usually rude, it's just part of our being. I always hope that other cultures keep this in mind when they meet a Dutch person, in the end we all have to do our best to understand and learn from each other.

8:23 this is so true😂, in my classes there are students who flat out don't leave the classroom when asked/ordered to do so and they talk back all the sh!t the teacher does😂😂

I'm a Canadian living in The Netherlands and the directness still affects me lol. Canada is quite indirect and I'm considered direct for a Canadian but that doesn't change how much more direct Dutchies are compared to Canadians. I have to remind myself of cultural differences and to try change my habits to be more direct with them as that's more respectful of their time. Been a struggle though!!! Had a couple moments talking to my Dutch partner about it and feeing frustrated.

Don't worry even dutch people think other dutch people are too direct. My friends in university had to get used to my directness😂
But as you say in a leader rol it is a good trait to have because you are just being honest with no inbetween the lines messages. It can give people a safe feeling because what you say is what you mean instead of all the pleasantries to make you feel better but with a harsh message. Or not that you're not completly honest just to spare someone. Which would give me anxiety if someone would do that to me.
That being said we do have all kinds of methods to give each other nicer feedback😂 such as the sandwich method, something nice - the feedback -something nice. The nice things do have to be true and appropriate in the situation.

In my experience I’d say us Dutch people don’t like saying one thing while our body language is saying the opposite. We are raised to try and be truthful instead of act nicely while everyone can read from your face that you actually think differently.
But it’s not only being direct in hard conversations, it’s also saying a simple ‘hello’ while walking past a stranger if there is eye contact. Simple acts that break awkward situations which often go unnoticed in other cultures but they have a positive psychological effect on your mood. But the other side is that when challenged we can be quite ruthless with our speech.
It’s not perfect but it works for most of us.

the directness is definetly a respect game, i can never understand how much many cultures dance around things and never get to a point, its funny how they emphasize respect but will never say things the way they actually think them. Sharing your true thoughts is something to be respected, you get to look inside someone elses mind that way.

Dutch directness, best example is Max Verstappen. He is an example of Dutch communication. He tells the people in the red bull team what is going good and wrong in the car. In the short time they get, he really makes a good set -up for the season and for the next race. It helps the team it helps him. You also hear it in interviews. It is not to be rude, it is a culture thing.

As a Dutchie, I would say I prefer open and honest communication, in other words being direct. Beating around the bush or trying to soften something you're trying to get across could lead to misunderstandings.

I'm Dutch but i still like to watch videos like this every now and again because i learn a lot about myself and my culture. I also just love culture shock. But anyways that exchange between Trump and Rutte just made me laugh so hard. I had no idea that happened

3 things about indirect in the NL:
-that it can come off as somewhat rude because you soften te truth
thinking the other can’t handle it.
-I as a dutch person would also say that being indirect could come off as a lil too optimistic, giving off false hope in a sense. For example:
P1:“Hey can you hang out this friday?”
(Person 2 has a busy schedule and already knows they can’t)
P2: I might be busy but I’ll try to see what I can do
This is something I’ve dealt with sometimes and is quite annoying, so instead of saying things indirectly like that, we prefer just saying:”no, I’m busy, maybe next time.” It may come off as rude or harsh or whatever, but it’s always better than giving off the indirect false hope y’know?
-Being indirect could make things uncomfortable. It’s like being WAY too nice. Also it takes more time into saying/typing it than necessary. The dutch however don’t really like wasting time listening to a 3 minute presentation of a softened version of why or what something is.
Instead we prefer the “straight to the point” part.

OMG 👏Straight to the point. 👏I would love to work with Dutch people.👏 In the UK people go in circles about everything and over-explain a lot, it's so frustrating. At 5:38 I literally cried, the girl is speaking to my struggles. She is absolutely right.

as a dutch person im curious what others think of us and its kinda interesting

I'm a big fan of our directness. The people that I get along with best are the most direct Dutch people, as within the Dutch population there still is some variation of how direct they are. And me being insecure in some aspects of life, I prefer the very blunt but honest truth. Leaving absolutely no room to misinterpret the message. And I'm often the same.

Honestly as a Duchie, if I ask someone if they’re available on Wednesday to hang out and they say “oh.. I would love to go, but I already have plans Wednesday… I really appreciate the offer tho” I would feel like they don’t want to hang out with me, or even dislike me. I would personally respond with something like “oh I can’t on Wednesday. Maybe we could go in the weekend?” And then gets responded with either: “Oh sure. I’m available on the weekend! Then it’s a plan!” If they can, and “Oh I can’t on the weekend.. (maybe the reason why) How about the Wednesday after that?” If they can’t on the weekend. And then it usually goes on until we made a plan or we’re just like “We’ll hang out some other time then.”
Maybe a reason I find that indirectness rude, is because if I actually don’t want to hang out with someone, I would find it too rude to straight up say I don’t want to, and come up with a excuse. So when you come up with an excuse instead of actually having and telling your reason for not being able to go (even if that reason is a headache or just being very tired) and suggesting something else, I feel like you just don’t want to hang out with me.

This is very relatable.
I, as a dutch person has had several problems with these differences in directness, for example, in my mother side of my family. These are the most direct people i have ever met, and i had problems trying to communicate with that side of the family because my fathers family was way more emotionally engaged and empathethic. When i got older however, i started to understand their love language a lot more and i have never felt more at home in my family than i do now.
So if you do plan on coming to the Netherlands, just remember that we can be very friendly but blunt at the same time :).

Had a discussion once with a professor about a certain curriculum, which many people had difficulty with passing. I complained about a program that was used, because it was a shit program and i was wasting time learning the program instead of what was supposed to be taught. Next semester the program was ditched, assignments were done on paper.
Grades changed from D's to A's.

Great explanation. I already knew about our directness, but sometimes it's hard to hang out with US people since they indeed consider our directness as rude. In my experience US people will also almost instantly call you 'friend', 'buddy' or tell people 'I love you' when they hardly know you. They seem to be the opposite of our dutch directness.

Like you said, being direct makes your life a lot easier as well. When you're being direct, the words are just out there, they're not stuck in your head anymore.

It is always interesting to hear peoples perspectives on this, but honestly I usually don't even think about it.
I do have had some instances where people would even misinterpret me on the internet. They were trying to find some hidden meaning behind my words. so I usually just say "No if I wanted to say something else I would have just said it. I mean what I say and I say what I mean".

Being Dutch myself, I do feel the need to add that if they can't do next Wednesday, but they do actually care about you. They can also ask if you have a different day in mind or even offer a different day themselves. Or it's just... I can't for the foreseeable future, but like... That's just my experience of people not wanting to do with me and generally just saying they can't without offering an alternative.

Mate what an excellent video. As a Dutch person I can say that you absolutely nailed this topic. I love the coconut vs. peach metaphor, I’m going to use that as it’s very accurate.
Dutch people may seem rude but that is just because you might not be used to direct negative feedback. Know that we are soft in the inside and mean no harm.

One thing I noticed about Americans is that they're way of being polite about something is saying things like, "thanks for asking that question", "amazing idea", "I can't wait getting to know you" etc. The funny thing is that a lot of these kind of phrases in Dutch are used really sarcastically. A friend of mine who is an exchange student said these kinds of things a lot when we first met and I genuinely thought he didn't like me because of that. After he explained himself I now understand that he was just being nice and polite and I felt so bad after.

As a Canadian, I would attribute the indirectness as an almost emotional manipulation. It sort of broke me when it came to emotional abuse growing up and I found I preferred the direct approach over everything else within my interactions in my homeland. Personally, I find I respond reflexively to be indirect and attempt to soften the interaction when I'm placed in a situation where I could lose something big: housing, employment, medical support or my immediate wellbeing. I get uncomfortable at a perceived imbalance of power and immediately switch to trying to people-please instead of being firm but sometimes I will perceive a situation as an emergency and come off incredibly intense... I'm working on it but I find it's easier to work on when I'm around more direct people.

I am a hardcore coconut, surrounded by peach cobbler - thank you for this insight, it explains my life in great degree..
This is a very considerate, nuanced, balanced and intelligently crafted presentation.

There are rude people in the Netherlands -- because there are rude people in all cultures. The directness gets conflated with rudeness when there's a culture clash. Or maybe culture skirmish, is better way to put it? Culture kerfuffle? Good video! Can't wait to visit the Netherlands. Love the cycling culture!

For me as a dutch man, I thought this was normal but now that I think about it, we really are very direct.

My reason for being so direct as a Dutch person is to prevent any miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Strange, I've been to The Netherlands often and never thought of the Dutch as being rude. But then I have had great times talking to the French in Paris where people were very nice to me. The only place I thought people were rude was in Switzerland. It could be my 'Minnesota nice' upbringing.

I actually did not know we were so direct! Super helpful video!