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Why are the Dutch so direct?

  • Published on May 27, 2023 veröffentlicht
  • The Dutch are one of the most direct people in the world. And Dutch directness is one of the biggest culture shocks for foreigners-some may even perceive it as rude.
    But what is Dutch directness? And where does it come from?
    Let’s hear from foreigners-and Dutch people. And there's actually science and history to explain why the Dutch are so direct. Let’s find out!
    00:00 Intro
    01:05 Culture shock of Dutch directness!
    01:55 The science of Dutch directness (Culture Map)
    03:19 "Peach & coconut" cultures
    04:50 What do Dutchies think of Dutch directness?
    05:48 Pros & cons of Dutch directness
    07:05 Where does Dutch directness come from?
    08:46 What have I learned?
    🇳🇱 10 Reasons Why I love the Netherlands - • 10 Reasons Why I ...
    🇳🇱 Dutch Culture Shocks - • What are the bigg...
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    🔸 If you live in the Netherlands, I'd love to hear your story and interview you.
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    #dutchdirectness #cultureshocks #lifeinthenetherlands

Comments • 2 281

  • fok
    fok 2 months ago +1549

    For a Dutch person, to not to be indirect means to be insincere and possibly even considered rude. Why waste each other's time or giving false hope? Just be direct and we know how to move forward.
    It isn't rude and you don't have to feel offended. You immediately know where everyone stands, and you can still convince others... and they may even tell you how!

    • Remi Schmitt
      Remi Schmitt 2 months ago +63

      I believe you used a double negative wrongly: ' to be indirect or 'to not be direct' is what you mean (i think).

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +46

      Thanks for sharing, interesting to hear!

    • HK-47
      HK-47 2 months ago +19

      Yup, i agree. Reminds me of apologists who spend 10 minutes to answer a yes/no question (and hiding the fact they don't want or can't answer)

    • JurrBTful
      JurrBTful 2 months ago +27

      As another Dutch person, I can't completely agree with your statement.
      The Dutch are quite often rude. We lack certain social skills because we're not the most empathic people.

    • TIM L
      TIM L 2 months ago +9

      100% some people are so good at turning around a point that you dont even know what they are saying anymore. I dont see the purpose of being indirect, it can be really confusing and as you say it seems a waste of energy and time (yes i'm Dutch xD)

  • dabsan123
    dabsan123 Month ago +17

    As someone who is half Japanese half Dutch, I honestly think directness as shown by the Dutch is the healthiest way to go about things. Overall, I think it's healthier for the mental and emotional in the long run.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  Month ago +1

      True! I’ve come to appreciate that. Thanks for sharing

    • Apoptosis Duellinks
      Apoptosis Duellinks 20 days ago

      Maybe this partly explains the relative happiness of the Dutch. I don't know if the mental health of the Dutch is relatively good though

    • Methos
      Methos 16 days ago

      @Apoptosis Duellinks Mine sure isn't but then again i'm not everyone so yeah.

    • Paul van Maanen
      Paul van Maanen 3 days ago

      That's why the Dutch are among the happiest people on the planet.

  • ZhetaRho
    ZhetaRho 2 months ago +230

    As a Dutch person working for an American company, I really had to get used to hearing 'Great question!', EVERY TIME a question was asked. When everything is 'awesome', 'great' or 'the best it's ever been!', those words lose meaning and I never know when you truly appreciate my feedback, or this or that is really going well.
    By now I realize 'Great question!' just means 'I am glad you are interested enough in what I said to ask a question and I want to encourage you to ask more questions in the future'.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +24

      "Amazing comment." Haha but interesting to hear how that is perceived (I realize that I still do that quite often).

    • Smegma Lasagna
      Smegma Lasagna 2 months ago +5

      I agree. I strive to only use words like ‘fantastic’ when I truly think that something is fantastic so that my words actually carry weight in the eyes of people that know that I function this way.

    • Aygi Can
      Aygi Can 2 months ago +11

      I had a workshop in Turkey last month, from a company coming from USA. The dude kept saying “awesome question” whenever we asked anything. It was a bit annoying to me. Lived 10 years in Nederland and i must say that i never felt directness being rude. It is jusg as it is, direct, straight to the point

    • a ghost
      a ghost 2 months ago +7

      The only context i know that someone would say great question is if they don't know the answer and need to think about ik for a second.

    • wtf gebeurd mij
      wtf gebeurd mij 2 months ago +1

      ​@David Wen haha nobody seemed to get the joke. I think it was funny

  • SuckTitles
    SuckTitles 2 months ago +24

    As another Dutch person has already pointed out, some of us really *are* actually rude and the cultural directness might make that hard to pinpoint.
    One red flag is when a Dutch person takes this weird pride in their own "directness". Another one is when one's behavior is often excused as "just their typical directness" by either their peers or themselves.
    In both these cases, odds are it's an actual toxic person who uses this "typical Dutch directness" as a free way ticket to bully others.

    • Methos
      Methos 16 days ago

      Yeah there's a lot of nuance to it. In my experience it's often a person being toxic more than anything else but that's also not everyone. Again there's a lot of nuance that you can only pick up on if you've lived here for a long time.

    • *Lotus Pocus*
      *Lotus Pocus* 9 days ago +1

      Bravo 🥁😍

  • Viokaia
    Viokaia 2 months ago +39

    As a British person now living in the Netherlands for almost 3 years, this was something I really had to get used to. Now, I really love the directness - there's no trying to figure out where someone stands or any falseness, you know where you stand from the start (even if it catches you off guard sometimes!)

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +6

      Thanks for sharing, me too!

  • Michelle K
    Michelle K 2 months ago +13

    It's interesting to see the Netherlands and Japan so far removed from the context spectrum. In history, the Netherlands was one of the earliest few who could successfully trade with Japan. In modern day, the NL and Japan have good business relations as well. My family is Dutch, my dad worked with a group of Japanese clients who really valued his work. Dad was placed quite close to the Japanese team lead during a work dinner, for example. Honesty and putting those words into action are really powerful in business!

    • Alexander Burgers
      Alexander Burgers 2 months ago +1

      Maybe a case of Opposites Attract, because Japan is known for being very sensitive to social hierarchy and not dissapointing those above you no matter the cost, which leads to a lot of indirectness. Pretty much the polar opposite of how the Dutch interact with each other, I'd say.

    • Methos
      Methos 16 days ago

      @Alexander Burgers Part of it is also that the Netherlands did a lot of trade throughout history. In business you learn to adjust when necessary.

    • JorritMorrit
      JorritMorrit 6 hours ago

      I feel like Japanese and Chinese people as well can actually work quite well with our directness and it helps to achieve things. At least for the people that I talk with I feel this is true.

  • Wil Leo
    Wil Leo 2 months ago +1568

    I think a Dutch person would just say: no wednesday is not possible. He would not even thank you for asking. As a Dutch person, too much polite words make me uncomfortable. When someone is obviously making efforts to hide the true message in order to protect my feelings, I start to suspect that his true message is much more hurtful than it seems because apparently he thinks I can not bear the truth. There is nothing hurtful in my unavailability on wednesday so why be indirect about it?

    • Gerwin Murre
      Gerwin Murre 2 months ago +174

      Exactly, I would just say something like: "No I can't do wednesday, maybe friday? Or next week tuesday I'm also still free."

    • Mcjiprock
      Mcjiprock 2 months ago +114

      Exactly we follow up with a solution to make it clear that we really would like to go. Just not that day.

    • Peace Frog
      Peace Frog 2 months ago +77

      Also if you really don’t want to do something you say it. So if someone invites you to go to a soccer game, and you hate soccer, you usually don’t say that you’re busy and maybe some other time, but you might say: no i don’t like soccer but how about we go bowling sometime.
      We think it is very practical to be clear and honest, and it prevents a lot of misunderstandings.

    • Ruben Janssen
      Ruben Janssen 2 months ago +27

      @Peace Frog jup a perfectly good response for the dutch would be "no i do not like the sport" (i even notice how dificult it is to translate that to english in writhng). and say somthing like: "we could plan somthing else for another time"

    • George Saint
      George Saint 2 months ago +28

      Ha yes, I was thinking the same. I myself would just say: "Ik kan niet woensdag." (I can't on wednesday). I would see no reason to even say sorry.

  • Sense008
    Sense008 2 months ago +79

    From a slightly different perspective. I am a Dutchie and I am also on the autism spectrum. I like clear and direct communication, because if it isn't I have to work really hard to find the intent of what someone is saying (that part has to do with my autism). Having traveled a bit in countries that have a much more indirect cultures was a lot of fun, but conversations could be exhausting, because I would always have to try and figure out intent from context. This made blunder a few times too. I am pretty lucky that I was born in culture that prefers direct communication, because that is what my autistic brain prefers also.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +11

      Thanks for sharing. A few other Dutchies with autism also mentioned the same reason too.

    • Franc Wieling
      Franc Wieling 2 months ago +1

      i'm Dutch and have autisme aswel. And i prefer direct communication aswel . Its hard to filter true all the information to figure out what someone actualy trying to say.

    • m
      m 2 months ago +2

      Same! It's a shame though that not everyone here is direct, there are still a lot of people I know that talk around the point and it always confuses me so much

    • Methos
      Methos 16 days ago

      I have autism as well and being from Limburg i can tell you that people are a bit less direct here. Now having been born and raised here and having a light form of autism i do pick up on those nuances but it can be annoying. Then when i do go up North i'm not as used to the directness so i just get confused again. This stuff can be real tough.

  • Anne Jacquemin
    Anne Jacquemin 2 months ago +27

    I studied translation and have dutch directness (mom is dutch, father is french). My teachers would always say this influenced my translations and I had to "elaborate" more. I told them that "elaboration" was the cause of mistranslation and we headbutted a lot until graduation😅

    • raceregos
      raceregos Month ago +1

      I had never thought about translation. It certainly would be interesting. And obviously it's not your responsibility to add the extra "softness" which doesn't even exist in the first place.

    • Anne Jacquemin
      Anne Jacquemin Month ago +2

      @raceregos The French like to make their writing "fancy", so they add unneccessary words in order to ressemble Latin languages (despite being from germanic descend, which is found in their oral language). Germanic languages have a tendancy to be a bit more blunt (except German, which adopted Latin grammar and put it's own spin to it😑). It's a matter of how much the sub-language (Latin) has influenced the main language.

    • Anne Jacquemin
      Anne Jacquemin Month ago

      @User 007 Nah, Dutch directness = "we don't take kindly to bullshit, so get to the point or else".
      Otherwise pretty cultured and down to Earth. The Dutch Royal family are the most involved royals in Europe.

  • Soup la Doop
    Soup la Doop 2 months ago +45

    As a person who lives in the Netherlands, I have noticed the Dutch are direct, but they are also easy to make friends with because of this. You know what they want and what they like and where they stand. This makes is easy to adapt yourself to them so that you both can have a good time which further deepens the friendship. I've also noticed that a Dutch person will visit my house or invite me to their house way earlier into the friendship than people of different cultures do.

    • marloes
      marloes 2 months ago +8

      Interesting, as my uncle (he and I are both Dutch) said that the Swiss like the Dutch because of this exact reason. He worked in Switzerland for a few years.

    • Colin van den Mosselaar
      Colin van den Mosselaar 2 months ago

      Exactly this. The coconut thing is bs.

    • 12 gauge
      12 gauge 2 months ago

      * if you’re Dutch yourself and don’t have a noticable accent. If you’re a foreigner that’s not from Suriname with an accent, forget about being friends with Dutchies

    • littlebighumancom
      littlebighumancom Month ago

      Agreed, the coconut analogy didn't really match for this reason.

  • Carise Balke
    Carise Balke 2 months ago +27

    As a Dutch person I went to England with my school the thing my English teacher kept repeating was ‘say twice as much thank you as you are used to.’😂

    • It's Michelle
      It's Michelle Month ago +1

      love your teachers direct way of dealing with British culture haha

  • Nisa Prinsze
    Nisa Prinsze 2 months ago +9

    Dutchie here! I also would like to note that Amsterdam (which is very often used as synonym to the Netherlands and where I feel most foreign people seem to move to) is the place where people are the most direct. (and other major cities) Other areas of the Netherlands actually have another pace at which they live, where directness is actually less prominent. Amsterdam's bluntless/directness is actually a concept on it's own, where even other Dutchies sometimes can't handle it at all. If someone is really direct: "(S)He's probably from Amsterdam" or shortened to "Amsterdammer"
    Other Pro's to directness: I know where I stand with people AND I can adjust to that (or choose not to). It saves me from being stabbed in the back! I can't read people's thoughts, so they'd have to tell me if they would like something from me.
    Simple example: A collegue of mine placed his half-empty cup on a table right behind a door. (he did that more often) On occassion, if another collegue walked in and opened the door too wide, the cup fell to the ground spilling the coffee. Instead of mentioning this to the owner of the cup. The other collegue cleaned it up and went on with her life. BUT she kept a grudge! Everytime he placed that cup on the table she'd be angry. "Cant he see that that's a problem?", she'd say behind his back.
    I asked: "Did you tell him?" She hadn't and was planning on trying to make him see the problem without telling.
    Direct me asked the first collegue not to place the cup there because it could fall over when the doors opens. His reaction: "Oh, didn't think of that."
    He never placed the cup there again, crisis averted, by just being a bit more direct.
    So yeah, being direct can sometimes even save (work)relationships.
    Also, I think the "Are you stupid?"of Sven Kramer was actually unneccesarily rude. I get why he didn't want to say it, and it's fine that he didnt want to, but calling someone stupid is still rude.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +3

      Thanks for sharing the long reply Nisa, appreciate you! I've lived in Maastricht and can tell the difference.
      And great example of directness! Communication is usually the biggest challenge at work (and in life)-and often, having that conversation can be the solution to the biggest challenges we all have (of course that's not always easy too).

    • Res
      Res 2 months ago +2

      I disagree on the amsterdam part. Ever been to Friesland?

    • bont3
      bont3 Month ago

      @Res Or Rotterdam The Hague? they'll tell you no all the time and to do "normaal". I'd even argue that Amsterdam, with all the tourists and internationals living there is less direct then the other cities. But overall, going away from the cities to the east and south it becomes less direct and "warmer". If that's the point she was trying to making I'd agree

  • David Zhatana
    David Zhatana 2 months ago +859

    Being Dutch, I would just like to add that there are also people in the NL that are just plain rude. So the trick is learning to recognise when people are just being honest/direct with you or when there's an asswipe just being rude to you. 😅

    • Daniel Robertson
      Daniel Robertson 2 months ago +13

      But how? Unless someone goes out of their way to help you (rarely happens), "Dat kan niet" is just the universal conversation killer.

    • Mark Jacobs
      Mark Jacobs 2 months ago +4

      I mean, who cares. The assholes can stay rude, no big loss there!

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +45

      Thanks for sharing David. There will always be rude people-we can ignore them =)

    • DaVince
      DaVince 2 months ago +14

      ​@Daniel Robertson I'd say that if you ask why and they don't come with a proper explanation, you'll know they're likely just being rude.

    • Johan Dierink
      Johan Dierink 2 months ago +10

      @Daniel Robertson If someone rarely goes out of their way to help you, and just says: it is not possible, without context or follow up...I don't know what your routine is or where you are living. As a Dutchy I find people very friendly and they surprise me everyday. So let's say the "rarely happens" is very anecdotal.
      I don't see " dat kan niet " as rude in itself and try to piece together from context/subtext/body language if they are being rude.
      Also if you are bothered so much by it that the conversation is "killed" , while the other person doesn't see the harm or follows their cultural norm then in a way you also killed the conversation.

  • Alex Gnatiuk
    Alex Gnatiuk 2 months ago +11

    As Ukrainian, I like that because we are also direct in communication. Of course depends from ppl btw 😁

  • Luuk 's-Gravendijk
    Luuk 's-Gravendijk 2 months ago +33

    As a Dutch person I feel like our directness keep us connected and real with each other.

    • Kasul the Casual
      Kasul the Casual 2 months ago

      Now if only we could teach the dutch to take their shoes off when entering someone's home. That would be so awesome!

    • Luuk 's-Gravendijk
      Luuk 's-Gravendijk 2 months ago +5

      @Kasul the Casual this really changes per household around the world. I always do except for when theres a party or something

    • Smegma Lasagna
      Smegma Lasagna 2 months ago +1

      @Kasul the Casual When visiting a place with a culture that has taking your shoes off when entering someone’s home, sure.
      But in the case of our own country, why would we do that?

    • Laurens Van der veer
      Laurens Van der veer 2 months ago

      @Kasul the Casual but then my feet get cold😅

    • Yo
      Yo 2 months ago

      @Smegma Lasagna for hygiene. You went outside with those shoes and then walk around with those dirty shoes in your home

  • Jenna Van Gemert
    Jenna Van Gemert 20 days ago +2

    Dutch directness also implies to telling people what your insecurities are. It helped me a lot to just tell people whatever you're insecure about. This way, people will take your insecurities in account while conversating and not be like "oh this person is being really awkward for no reason"

    • David Wen
      David Wen  17 days ago +1

      Thanks Jenna. Oh, I've been studying "emotions" over the past year...and "directness" has helped me become more "OK" with expressing my emotions. I mean...I think they're two separate things-being honest and being OK telling people your insecurities (eg. being vulnerable)-but directness does help.

  • John Visage
    John Visage 2 months ago +7

    I'm Belgian and my country is like the opposite of direct but i visit the Netherlands a lot and i love that directness, you don't have to guess what Dutch people think about you or other things.

  • Tessa Bakker
    Tessa Bakker 2 months ago +44

    As an autistic Dutch person, I am so very glad that my culture is more inclined towards just getting to the damn point, it saves so much time and gives me exactly the feedback I need from the interaction.

    • Ginny Wolfs
      Ginny Wolfs Month ago


    • Laura D
      Laura D 8 days ago

      Same! I've autism to and the culture makes my directness much less of a big deal. And I can actually understand what they mean without second guessing

  • H
    H 2 months ago +483

    There's a difference between being direct as in communicating with clear intend vs having total disregard to someones feelings. This does not mean we are inconsiderate. Most Dutch people will know when to be honest and when to be polite and act interested. There's a time and place for everything.

    • Chris Laarman
      Chris Laarman 2 months ago +7

      Quite. I may add: Dutch people from several communities will express their irritation with you by making jokes meant to make you think. - Actually, I often intend my jokes to make people think, just not necessarily about their behavior.

    • HCShuffle
      HCShuffle 2 months ago +5

      Some people have their feelings hurt if they get criticised on something that is simply the truth. It's their problem, dutch people can't change the truth and won't say sorry for it. However we very often say things with some tact if the truth is very confronting...

    • Think For yourself
      Think For yourself 2 months ago +1

      Facts don't care about feelings fyi

    • Challie Wallie
      Challie Wallie 2 months ago +5

      Yeah, people always say it is 'being direct'. No, it is just being to-the-point/cutting the chase.

    • No Good Name
      No Good Name 2 months ago +12

      @Think For yourself While that is true, there's also a huge difference between being direct and just plain rude. As a Dutchie myself one thing I noticed a lot of fellow dutchmen do, especially to foreigners, is say this essay is not good, are you stupid? The part where they say someone's work isn't good is being direct, calling someone stupid is just rude, same goes when expats try to speak Dutch, I hear a lot of people, specially in stores, say "your Dutch is not good, (then proceed to insult them)"... Another example of someone using the Dutch directness as an excuse to be rude is that clip of Sven Kramer, calling the interviewer stupid is completely uncalled for and not an example of directness...

  • Britney Shropshire
    Britney Shropshire 2 months ago +3

    I’m Dutch with an American dad and a Dutch mother. I grew up bilingual and have dual citizenship. Whenever I visit my family in the states I notice how much of a culture shock it is for me whenever I visit a store or a restaurant. Usually in Europe, when you go shopping you’ll be greeted , asked once if you need anything maybe and then they usually leave you alone. In the states it seems like a whole ritual. They greet u , ask you how you’re doing, if you’re looking for anything special. Compliment you on your outfits ( even when you’re wearing the most basic shit ever 😂) and telling you about special offers “you have to try our new yadayada”. Even if you say “ oh i’m just looking around they check in on you every 10 minutes . It honestly made me realize how much of an introvert I am bc I hate social contact and I got so overwhelmed and over stimulated by just one afternoon of shopping 😂. And most of those people were really sweet and I actually like talking to Americans. It’s just funny to me how much more reserved we are as Dutch people when it comes to customer service.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +1

      Hah thanks Britney, I can relate with everything you just said. I see these differences now when I go back…and I am also an introvert and get annoyed when it’s too much (ironic because I used to work in customer service so I may have annoyed a lot of people!).
      But yeah customer service is another thing…if we say Dutch directness is efficient and saves time, American customer service is more efficient and saves more time from that point of view

    • Tricky D
      Tricky D Month ago

      "In the states it seems like a whole ritual. They greet u , ask you how you’re doing, if you’re looking for anything special. Compliment you on your outfits ( even when you’re wearing the most basic shit ever 😂) and telling you about special offers"
      🤔This probably is because of the American tipping culture. If the custumer isn't treated like royalty he'll loose a big tip.
      😤As a Dutchie I find this highly insulting, cauz I'm not gonna grovel for a lil' bit of xtra 💵.

    • Alex
      Alex 5 days ago

      Funny that you should say this because most of my friends (we're all dutchies) often complain about not liking having employees talking to us when we're just minding our business shopping. Especially regarding clothes. I feel quite similar actually. Everyone I know does, now that I think about it.
      For me it's kind of a: I am a grown adult with a brain. I know you work here and are available to me should I need help. If I do need help, I will gladly ask you for it. If I don't need help, I would prefer you to not talk to me and make me feel like I'm being watched. It makes me feel like I'm not quick enough, or that I look lost. I prefer to feel like nobody is paying attention to me.

  • Inu Endo
    Inu Endo 2 months ago +4

    Had a Dutch colleague in uni and imo he was way more friendly and punctual than other students from say, Japan or Brazil. If you asked him to study at the library, it was fast yes or no, boom done. No shyness or quietness, we wouldn't stop for food or coffee, he was direct and efficient. He was also very outdoorsy, a blast to go biking with.

  • Pascal Altena
    Pascal Altena 2 months ago +18

    I'm Dutch. My experience is that a lot of Dutch say A but think/do B. Most Dutch people often take pride in their supposedly direct communication style but really, out of, say, 10 Dutch people I would say 5 "act" direct (they communicate assertively but really aren't telling you what they actually think), 4 aren't direct at all (i.e. beating around the bush, or just politely not saying stuff to be socially desireable) and the remaining person actually is direct (meaning they say what they actually think about a subject, ask hard questions etc). So many times I heard a Dutch person say A but found out they do (and thus think) B.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago

      Thanks for sharing Pascal

    • Unilythe
      Unilythe Month ago +2

      I think it's all relative. I used to think the same as you do, I didn't really see how we are so direct. There's a lot of "diplomatic" ways to give negative feedback, for example. You wouldn't literally tell someone their idea is shit in 99% of the cases, even in The Netherlands.
      Then I went to the US for 3 weeks, and that changed my mind real quick. Compared to there, yeah we're really direct. And the proof is in this video: Lots of expats in this video noticed the directness.
      For example: In The Netherlands, when you believe an idea is bad, you can just say "Yeah but your idea wouldn't really work because of reasons A and B". Apparently, this isn't very normal for many other cultures.

    • Pascal Altena
      Pascal Altena Month ago

      @Unilythe I had the same experience with Americans. I agree with you. Compared to the Americans (at least the ones you and I dealt with) the Dutch are super direct.

  • Koen
    Koen 2 months ago +13

    About being conscious about directness: I just had a really Dutch style conversation with a top fortune 500 company based in the US. We had a major issue. Me and a collegae really spoke our mind. I am almost certain the other side was aware of Dutch directness but I could see a range of emotions. So after our negative feedback backed up by examples and evidence we took about 15 minutes (1/4 of the entire meeting) to make shure the busines relationship was still ok/ ok again.

    • jesse kieboom
      jesse kieboom 2 months ago +1

      Aaaah, the old. 'this is the work floor so we separate our work from our personal feelings, but we don't mean anything personal. So afterwards we bring back our personal and fun self to reconnect with each other on a personal level.' trick

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +2

      Thanks Koen. Yeah I can totally relate to this. I do trainings on giving/receiving feedback and well...yeah giving (negative) feedback is just not easy in general...especially cross-culturally

  • Moxxym
    Moxxym 2 months ago +9

    On the part of arguing with professors: it's a huge part of getting to the level of your professor, being able to bring up opinions and being able to hold discussions over topics that most of the time there isn't a solid answer for is one of the biggest skills a scientist can have and therefore is heavily stimulated by both professors as well as universities as a whole here. Its a big difference with other countries but something that really elevates Dutch higher education above other countries

  • Maarten Kuif
    Maarten Kuif 2 months ago +233

    I'd even say that CEOs and professors in the Netherlands have even more respect for employees/students that argue with them in a direct and (for Dutch standards) respectful way, as they prove to be creative and critical thinkers.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +28

      Thanks Maarten-yeah I've learned that "arguing" back constructively can actually be a good thing. Well, it's actually what makes "high performing teams" (Patrick Lencioni's "5 Dysfunctions of a Team")

    • Reinier NN
      Reinier NN 2 months ago +1

      Maybe at universities professors do like that.....until the student proves he is much better thinking and arguing than that professor . Only a few professors do really appreciate that....
      At lower level education (basic school (grammary) up to highschool) only a very few teachers will accept those arguing kids....especially when they are telling the reacher is wrong. (I remember one teacher, mathematics, who told us when someone pointed at a mistake/wrong answer that he was testing if we were awake in the classroom....he also was one of my most appreciated teachers because the humor in accepting those things.)
      But also in the Netherlands you are not allowed to tell other people how very good you really are (in work/learning/sport ) Even difficult when you're a supertalent. That is much easier in the USA and more apreciated.

    • Gert-Jan van der Lee
      Gert-Jan van der Lee 2 months ago +7

      Yup, I always told my boss if what they wanted was a bad idea and why it was a bad idea. It was almost always appreciated as it saved time and/or money. Very few times that I was told to do it anyway.

    • Fred Puntdroad
      Fred Puntdroad 2 months ago

      Strictly depends on where you are. I was in two faculties at the time while studying. First faculty you ask if it's okay to discuss something later and you get "Appointment? Just walk in when it suits you, I'll tell you if I've got time", then I walk into the Faculty of Law to ask something and I'm stared at like "You're a student. TF are you doing here, in my office, without a prior appointment?"

    • Gert-Jan van der Lee
      Gert-Jan van der Lee 2 months ago

      @Fred Puntdroad Seems to me it depends on the preference of the teacher not the location.

  • SomeoneCool2
    SomeoneCool2 Month ago +1

    As a Dutch person, and having an autism for life, I often warn people that things I might say that are offending just to give them heads up in this case when I talk to them. I had to learn that I have this autism at my 50th year, so I have been coping with that fact of 'rudeness' or 'blunt' for all those years and not really understand where I went wrong. Now coming to the point of your video, I find it enlighten that you study our culture and made this video, true that we are direct, but we do have our own quirks that people might pick up differently. But still, YOU HAVE A BROOD on your wall hanging, not many can say that! Thanks for the video man!

  • HerrFinsternis
    HerrFinsternis 2 months ago +5

    It's always a bit sad the "dutch directness" issue is reduced to the question whether we are rude.
    There is actually a lot of nuance in the way we are direct. We also have introverts and extraverts, and we all have areas where we feel less or more comfortable to express ourselves.
    I guess a defining attribute about our directness is that more often then not we assume the other person is safe and snug inside their comfortzone and we approach eachother as such. Sometimes that's not the case and this is something we pick up on really quickly and act upon without even thinking about it.
    So no, we are not rude, we simply give eachother space to be who we are and our directness is a result of that because we are not in the habit of questioning it.
    Edit: In the comments someone gave an example that perfectly illustrates this. They said when you get an invitation to go to a soccergame it's perfectly fine to decline "because you don't enjoy the game of soccer". That's something personal the other extender of the invitation has nothing to do with, so why is it polite to sugarcoat or even hide it? As a concept that doesn't make sense and to expect such is what we would consider rude.

  • Ivy King
    Ivy King 2 months ago +4

    I'd say language is a very big factor here.
    Few foreign people learn to speak dutch, and there also lies a nuance in how to adequatley observe and state what exactly is this directness in culture, language and how people interact in daily life.
    We do have our way of interacting in pleasant way.
    To me being direct is being sincere, and that is the biggest honour I can give the people I get to meet. It's me offering them no reason to distrust me because they get to perceive me and decide for themselves if I'm someone they can relate to or not.
    I'd like to mirror this video by stating I don't feel I can trust someone who's keeping up appearance or/and etiquette and manners; I don't know who I'm talking to when receiving desireable replies.
    Fun fact: Even within the Netherlands there is a difference in how direct people are communicating and stating directly what they mean and think.
    In the North there's directness; few words to state exactly what you think, in the south much less so, like beating around the bush to entice people in your way of seeing the issue.
    Grts from Amsterdam

  • Mar Ith
    Mar Ith Month ago +1

    I'm Dutch and I really struggle trusting people who aren't straight to the point. It's like you never know what to expect and it could change any minute. Sometimes, Dutch directness even feels harsh to me sometimes, but I definitely prefer it over non-directness.

  • dimithetree
    dimithetree 2 months ago +3

    Tldr: respectfulness and honesty are on a spectrum culturally, and while the Netherlands definitely are shifted more towards honestly, we’re still pretty tame compared to for example Slavic cultures.
    PS note: I guess this explains why both Russia (similar in communication culturally to Ukraine, I’d say) and the Netherlands are on the total left at 2:46 with negative feedback.
    Being half-Ukrainian, half-Dutch, and living my whole life in the Netherlands, gives me a whole different perspective on things.
    For me, us Dutch are not direct. Ukrainians are.
    I guess it’s a scale wherein English culture is just… always being vague to people in order to not insult anyone, whereas Dutch people will tell you things much more quickly. However, a cashier at a store for example will still smile at you no matter how strange you act (unless you do something against the rules of course).
    A Ukrainian one would literally walk up to you and ask you what you think you’re doing. Witnessed it once or twice while I was in Ukraine (quite a while ago).

  • Wil Leo
    Wil Leo 2 months ago +349

    In favor of Dutch directness: in our culture, truth and honesty are very important. Giving someone the impression that you think they cant handle the truth is no compliment. You would underestimate their strength. Therefor, indirect messages are perceived as (somewhat) insulting.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +15

      Thanks for sharing Wil!

    • het edele ambacht
      het edele ambacht 2 months ago +1

      i can relate to that....

    • indykatley
      indykatley 2 months ago +20

      You can be direct AND polite at the same time, it just requires some skills.

    • Zeki Uygun
      Zeki Uygun 2 months ago +1

      Once upon a time I visited a church in The Netherlands, on a Sunday I just sat in the crowd and everyone did their Sunday prayers until it was over, and then all of the sudden a Dutch woman asked me: ''Can I ask you something?'', then I answered saying: Yes. And then she asked me: ''Are you a Christian?'', while others were hearing this as well. Like what the hell? I felt so uncomfortable after she asked me this silly question, I felt as if I was being discriminated and humiliated at the same time! That was just not cool as all, I told this to others as well and they just told me that she was not even allowed to ask me something like that.

    • Miciso
      Miciso 2 months ago +42

      @Zeki Uygun i mean... as dutch. she is just asking you out of curiousity. and wanted to have a chat maybe?
      but instead you turn her down. and talk shit behind her back. now thats rude....

  • Peter Tholen
    Peter Tholen 2 months ago +6

    An excellent explanation of the Dutch directness. Should be viewed by everybody visiting or moving the Netherlands.

  • Elisah Meis
    Elisah Meis Month ago +1

    I didn't realize I was so dutch until I had to run a forum community.
    When a mod did something wrong, (and everyone was gossiping about it)
    I would just tell them, but also try to work together to help them approve.
    (give tips, try to hear them out etc.)
    But alot of the time I got told, your directness shocked me.
    But in the end, alot of people did appreciate it.
    Because I didnt sugarcoat anything, but told it as it is,
    there was no confusing.
    And after that first shock went down they soon realized the reason
    I mentioned it to them was because I wanted to help them improve.
    Still, I am shocked by how people can beat around the bush so much.
    Just tell it as it is.

  • DaVince
    DaVince 2 months ago +16

    "There is little room to be creative." I think that's an interesting statement. If you're direct back, you can usually get to some creative new ideas. The barrier might more be in how you're communicating to each other rather than someone just not being open to ideas, suggestions or straight up different views entirely.

    • crab
      crab 2 months ago +3

      I was thinking the same thing! You need to combine directness and assertiveness. This way, you can have an honest conversation and actually get somewhere. Wonderful creative conversations and ideas can occur when people actually listen to eachother and don't beat around the bush.

    • Bruh BruhBruh
      Bruh BruhBruh 2 months ago +2

      Totally agree. Directness is not the same as rudeness, creativity or assertiveness. In fact, if someone decides the mentioned optioned aren't options (instead of trying to maybe make it work somehow) you are forced to come up with new ideas.

    • CountK
      CountK 2 months ago +1

      True. If your company is bottom up instead of top down, creativity is even enhanced in this culture because assertive employees will conribute because their ideas matter. You can't expect that every idea is followed of course but I don't think that you can translate that to "little room for creativity". If you bounce the ball around a few times, creative ideas can become more solid and might be a way to go forward. So assertiveness and directness might be a very contributing force here. The strongest brain storm I had, was about a marketing plan being almost fully worked out in half an hour because everybody kept bouncing the ball around and ideas kept on pouring. Once distilled, that plan was ready to go.

  • B B
    B B 2 months ago +11

    this is even the case in the Dutch armed forces.
    there is often consultation with the group in order to arrive at the best action.
    the commander ultimately has the last word, of course.
    but we are aware that together we know more than just the commander. therefore, especially with the engineers, it is often the case that important decisions about the assignment to be carried out are taken together and adjusted if necessary.

    • dragnar12
      dragnar12 6 days ago

      There is a reason the western military is not fully directed from the top any more.
      But instead the individual groups direct themselves.
      Its cus it works better and faster.
      Russia on the other had still works whit a top down pyramid system works really well for em

  • KronosFNaF
    KronosFNaF 2 months ago +4

    I'm Dutch myself and what I notice a lot is that we always put swears or random diceases in the middle of sentences to express how bad/awful something is while other countries have that less. I always focus on being more polite when I speak to someone outside of the Netherlands lol.

    • ijsbeer 149
      ijsbeer 149 Month ago

      Lol, yeah a lot of people use cancer as an adjective here. I don't know why and don't like it. However that's not a part of directness imo.
      Making plans for me = call. Wanna chill on wednesday. Answer. Call over.
      Saying, "that race was cancerfast" isn't part of that directness, more just wanting to sound though.
      But that's my interpretation.

  • Rob 0945
    Rob 0945 2 months ago +189

    For me as Dutchy the directness and honesty is a way of showing respect for another person. If I do not respect a person, I do not need to be honest.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +25

      Thanks Rob. Directness = respect. I respect that!

    • Miciso
      Miciso 2 months ago +8

      yeah agreed. if i see a fellow colleague mess up i try to immediatly adress it.
      instead of keeping silent and him making even more mistakes.

    • Rob Roy
      Rob Roy 2 months ago +3

      Zo nuchter als een Nederlander 👍🏻

    • wendy peeters
      wendy peeters 2 months ago

      True, i love the directness of our people❤

    • Caran
      Caran 2 months ago +1


  • Juwel Playkid
    Juwel Playkid 2 months ago +2

    We’re kind of a jack of all trades. I try to be polite while still being clear in my message. Others are flat out rude and others don’t mean to be rude, but sound like it.
    In terms of education there’s also some stuff going on. We learn to be clear in our answers to questions. (I had another thing that we learned but I forgot what I was going to type.)
    If someone asked me to fill in for them I’d say something like: ‘Sorry, but I can’t. I’ve already got something planned.’

  • Demon Akuoka
    Demon Akuoka 2 months ago +1

    I'm a Dutchman myself and I actually started wondering "am I that direct as well?". I know that I'm fairly nice to the people around me and respectful to the people I don't know, but just seeing how direct I sometimes can be online and in rl... I'm quite impressed to be honest.

  • horrorhouse16
    horrorhouse16 2 months ago

    I'm Dutch, and I think this directness is mostly seen in the big cities of the Netherlands. I come from a small village in the Netherlands where people tend to be way less direct compared to the big city areas. When I go to cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam, or Nijmegen, I notice that people there are way more direct, and even I can perceive them as rude. So i really think it depends on where you live in the Netherlands.

  • Jeroen
    Jeroen 2 months ago +5

    I'm Dutch and the indirect culture of other countries is sometimes hard to deal with. What do you mean and What do you expect from me. Do you want to say no or do you want help. Because being direct means being honest in what you want and need. Not so much about what you think about others. There is a difference

  • CountK
    CountK 2 months ago +2

    Words just weigh more in Holland. If you get a compliment form a direct communicator, you are sure it's from the heart and not for some shady reason or because of a hidden agenda. A second layer to dutch communication is that you can state emotional values as a reason why someone wants or does'nt want to do something. I sense that in indirect cultures (I live in Belgium, they are much more indirect) emotional values aren't really shared by direct communication but are avoided by reading between the lines. I still have trouble sensing the (to me) unclear communication about what somebody wants. And yes, people are raised in true democracy fashion at home. My kids have a say on what direction we go forward at home. Dutch culture also strongly uses everybodies opinion/expertise before going forward. Meetings often include a question round where everybody is asked if they want to add something to the meeeting that is relevant.

  • Jean LeCocq
    Jean LeCocq 2 months ago +233

    I have worked in a US-based multinational and in every meeting you would hear Americans going: "I appreciate what you're saying, but... " followed by several minutes of yadayadayada. From the second word, everyone would know that the guy meant: nope. All the Dutch guys in the meeting would just say yes or no, and where needed defend their answer with arguments. I could never get used to the endless yadayada.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +18

      Hahaha I know what you're talking about. APPRECIATE YOU!

    • Miss Moon🌙
      Miss Moon🌙 2 months ago +8

      If you think about it: anything said before "but", gets dismissive.

    • K Nafta
      K Nafta 2 months ago +1

      Sometimes more is less

    • Ron Rolfsen
      Ron Rolfsen 2 months ago +5

      @Mladen Ivanov Even in the Netherlands if you want a c-suite you most likely still need a silver tong and a lot of yadayadayadaing.

    • Miciso
      Miciso 2 months ago +3

      dutch meetings be like: sir honestly if we did this we would work faster.
      instead of beating around the subject and land on said point after 10 minutes.
      we see problem. we point at it. we fix it.

  • CorruptedSystem32 🎵
    CorruptedSystem32 🎵 2 months ago +2

    I was born in the Netherlands and moved out with my grandparents to Costa Rica and eventually back into the Netherlands to live with my mother in 2010. Gotta say I’m still not over my culture shock. Also I’d like to add that at least in my experience (I have autism so there is space for bias, of course) people in the Netherlands are a lot louder as what goes for a normal tone of voice, and I often find it overwhelming… 😅 (my family is American and I’ve spent about half a year there as well, and for both Costa Rica and America I’d say people are a lot less loud there then they are here)

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago

      Thanks for sharing your experience!

    • yltraviole
      yltraviole 2 months ago

      That's interesting! The stereotype of Americans here is that they tend to be quite loud (though I'll admit the Dutch definitely aren't a soft spoken people...) I suppose it can differ a lot depending on which region from either country you're talking about, for instance, my dad from Limburg always complains about how loud Dutch people from the north can be.

  • Tomatohead FD
    Tomatohead FD 2 months ago +11

    I go to an international colledge in the Netherlands (has a dutch person). We have countless nationalities at the school and the ones ice spoken to all have different reactions.
    A Canadian Swiss student and student from the Caribbean found us to be rude but a German student liked the Dutch people, so did a student from Hong Kong.
    We even have a course in the first year to help new students deal with the culture shock that comes with moving to a new country.

    • Fred Puntdroad
      Fred Puntdroad 2 months ago +3

      Chinese tend to get along well with our default communication, in my experience. Theirs is a strange culture, very direct in its own way as well.
      There are different terms for family members based on seniority as well for strangers with a certain generational appearance in relation to yours. If you're 20 and interacting with a woman aged 45 who's for example providing you a service, you can refer to her as an auntie, from aunt.
      It's a low-trust society and people tend to not mince words about anything besides politics.
      But because it has such indications of seniority built into the language itself, there's not really any courtesy in sentences. They do however use silence as a form of non-confronting anger, and that can be very confusing. A fairly recent example on television was the idiot singer Gordon appearing in some sort of trashy talent scouting thing. Gordon makes an incredibly insensitive joke towards a Chinese participant, a joke that was lame since 1980 even if you don't believe in being sensitive.
      You can tell the Chinese guy is fuming angry and there's a dead silence to signal it (according with a pretty good "Dude, really?" stare), but Gordon thinks it's approval for his lame joke because he's not being verbally called out on it.

    • Tomatohead FD
      Tomatohead FD 2 months ago +1

      @Fred Puntdroad Very interesting, thanks for sharing :D

    • Alexander Burgers
      Alexander Burgers 2 months ago +1

      ​@Fred Puntdroad Interesting, (as a Dutch person myself), that totally doesn't match my experience in business dealings with people from China, but it's a big place...
      The people I dealt with were all small talk, how are you my friend, bla bla, want to ask you a question if you have time, bla bla.
      And in my head I'm like, just start with the damn question, it's online conversation spanning a massive timezone difference, there's no need for all this.. conversational foreplay.
      I play along cause I don't wanna be the rude one, it still feels massively pointless.

    • Fred Puntdroad
      Fred Puntdroad 2 months ago

      @Alexander Burgers
      But I imagine you communicated in English and it was all online?

    • Alexander Burgers
      Alexander Burgers 2 months ago

      @Fred Puntdroad yeah, that's the case. Maybe it's different that way from personal interaction, but (from my perspective) no matter how you look at it, it's weird starting an online conversation with a concrete goal/question, with small talk and platitudes, it feels disingenuous.

  • Jappo
    Jappo 2 months ago +2

    There is a dutch saying "doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg" which translates "if you act normal, you're acting crazy enough". This basically means that you don't need to beat around the bush, just act normal/direct.

  • Franny
    Franny 2 months ago +1

    As a Dutchman I don't trust people that easily if they need too many words, then I think why do they beat around the bush? I'm looking for a reason why they don't just tell it like it is. But I think it's pretty well explained and I'm very proud of our honesty and straight to the point character!🌹

  • Heike
    Heike 2 months ago +1

    I think another important aspect for the reason might actually be the language itself. (I am not sure about Dutch, but can talk about German which was shown pretty close to Dutch in those scales) - Trying to translate English to German gets especially hard when the passive is used for example. In German we just don't use it much and making it sound natural without losing the "indirectness" which the original text has can be pretty hard.

  • Nina W
    Nina W 2 months ago +119

    As a Dutchy I think the Dutch ice skater was not direct, he was rude. There was no reason to call that woman ‘stupid’, direct would have been: ‘no I wont do that.’

    • Arturo Bianco
      Arturo Bianco 2 months ago +7

      Well you might have a point that it was a bit strong but i could have frased it excactly the same without the intend of being rude. The idiot part is more an indication of why would you even ask the answer is no so don't do it again. I do agree that its not the most polite form of saying things and you are better of not to do it to compleet strangers like he did.

    • Kane Huijbers
      Kane Huijbers 2 months ago +18

      he wasnt rude.. she was by wasting his time... why do you want to take an interview when you dont even know the guy?? So she is just using the guy for her benefit thats rude

    • Nina W
      Nina W 2 months ago +17

      @Kane Huijbers And then that is typically Dutch… considering calling someone an idiot ‘direct’, instead of rude. There were tons of things he could have done that were just as direct but less unfriendly.

    • Nina W
      Nina W 2 months ago +6

      And actually: then he should have said thát to her, being direct is saying what you mean, so : ‘i think you’re wasting my time, i wont do that.’ Instead of beating around the bush and saying something else. Being direct doesnt necessarily mean you have to insult anyone.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +1

      Thanks Nina

  • Ingmar Spit
    Ingmar Spit 2 months ago +1

    I appreciate directness because next to avoiding misunderstanding eachother which is good for business, it also helps me help others better. Please, dont hide your wishes, just tell me what you need or prefer so I can help you improve your day. That said, having worked with people from more indirect cultures helped me be more successful in communicating negative feedback in a more constructive way.

  • Racer Pepe
    Racer Pepe 2 months ago +4

    Dutch directness to me is all about saving time. I don't have time to waste. We are extremely busy people, often in a rush to get one appointment after the other. If the answer is no, then please just say no because there are at least 3 other things I could be doing in that timeframe. Not much is ever spontaneous in our culture, not even get-togethers or going out for dinner. Everything is planned weeks ahead and I like it that way. Time is precious.

  • S
    S 2 months ago +14

    I really like the coconut peach comparison. I am going to use that haha. As a dutchie my experience is also that us dutchies get very uncomfortable when it comes to compliments and showing graditude. Maybe it feels like showint to much vulnerability

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +3

      Haha it's based on research! I like the comparison too.
      Thanks for sharing (I hope you can accept that and not get too uncomfortable!)

  • Sebgear
    Sebgear 2 months ago +1

    As a Dutch person. I'm incredibly used to the directness. So much so that when this video started I just thought; "what the fuck is this guy talking about". But you are completely correct. Most of us are extremely direct. I do think there is another positive outcome of this fact worth mentioning. By being used to direct communication we take criticism less personal and are more likely to see it as a point of improvement instead of a personal offense.
    Additionally, being open about who you are as a person, makes for a great way to get people to open up to you. I think one of the loveliest compliments I've ever received was from someone I met in the US. A girl descrived me as being the most 'genuine' person she had ever met. It honestly just made me smile thinking back at that moment. I will carry that complement with me for the rest of my life.
    However, in general, I did come to realize that, in the US for example, when you are meeting random people the tend to be overly sweet. To the point where I often felt like I had stumbled into an overly and forcefully happy game show. People would, upon finding out we're foreigners, often say things like "wouw really , the Netherlands?! That's amazing". While in the reverse situation I would likely say "Dawm! You are a long way from home. What made you want to visit the Netherlands?"

  • Parmentier 7
    Parmentier 7 2 months ago +291

    When I first went to the US, a supermarket cashier greeted me with "How are you?" I thought hey, what a nice woman, so I tried to have a conversation with her and asked her all sorts of questions. How she was doing, how long she's been working here if she lives nearby. She looked questioningly at me then? In the other store I was greeted in the same way, only then did I find out that it was a more polite greeting without content.😂
    In the Netherlands, 'How are you' is usually said by friends or colleagues. And often they also want more information from me, either that I have not seen them for a long time or that I have been ill. If a Dutch cashier asks me how I am doing, I will say politely that I am fine, but I will think why is she asking me this, she does not know me, or am I doing something wrong, does she want to warn me for something?

    • Chris Laarman
      Chris Laarman 2 months ago +5

      Billi Connolly observed on stage (after having lived some years in California): What would you rather have: somebody saying "How are you? Have a great day!" and not meaning it, ot somebody saying "Get lost!" and mean it? - [I'm not sure about the words "get lost", but simething in that vein.]

    • Mola Diver
      Mola Diver 2 months ago +51

      ​​@Chris Laarmaneing Dutch I prefer neither. How about just a simply hi or good morning if that's all you really want to say? Why make a simple exchange between a cashier and a customer so convoluted? To be honest I don't like it when people ask me questions they don't want the answers to. Just don't waste my time with these shenanigans.

    • rigididiot
      rigididiot 2 months ago +5

      Funny thing, that "how are you" in stores and shops... One of my first times visiting the US, I was with a bunch of shipmates in a shopping mall, and I entered a record shop. I was greeted with what I back then did NOT know to be standard "Hi there, how are you?" and I answered with what I thought was appropriate "I am fine, how are you?" which in turn was answered with a blank look as if it was unexpected.
      I was the only customer in the shop, and my shipmates apparently were still looking somewhere else, so I quickly peeked out the door to see where they went. When I turned around and went back into the record shop (making the door signal go "ding" again), The girl behind the counter AGAIN greeted me with a cheery "Hi there, how are you?". The exact tone, cdence, rhythm and intonation. Like a tape recording. It felt to me as if she had not even registered I was there 10 seconds earlier, as if she had not even registered that she said the same thing 10 seconds earlier, as if she did not even register that I was the same person that was there 10 seconds earlier, as if she did not even register that I was that strange guy that actually responded to her greeting in an unusual way (judging by the blank look I received the first time)...
      It truly felt like I was talking to a robot that only registered that the door-bell rang, or a person disconnected from reality... I found it so offputting that I looked around for 2 minutes for good form, and left the shop as quickly as I could.

    • Mola Diver
      Mola Diver 2 months ago +2

      @Matthew Norms can change. Just because something exists doesn't make it nice or effective. Same with American car depcendcy. If you don't know any better its OK but it actually is a financial and physical prison for many people. Old walkable neighborhoods are in high demand in North America and thus only for the wealthy. The poor are kept poor in the vast suburbs which are effectively huge deserts when it comes to shops, schools and other facilities. Parents driving their kids everywhere just to go places. In ever bigger cars which are basically the size of tanks that actually kill more people than they keep safe. All of which are the accepted ways of doing things but they're not necessarily good for people.
      This is not meant as critique per se. Just an illustration or how norms can derail until enough people get fed up with them and they change.
      It's not a bad thing to sometimes think about why things are the way they are.

    • Chris Laarman
      Chris Laarman 2 months ago

      @rigididiot 1) I do feel with you. :-)
      2) I know the shop staff's automation, too. I have occasionally participated in collecting food for a food bank, outside supermarkets (in Amsterdam, so Dutch scale). One develops a routine of ever shorter questions. It was unavoidable to have people enter the shop a second time, like for rejoining their partner. But looking at a stream if people makes most faces familiar, so I did repeat my question. - I ultimately found a good excuse to use (with a smile): "I'm sorry. I don't store cookies."

  • Challie Wallie
    Challie Wallie 2 months ago +3

    The Dutch directness (which I prefer to call 'to-the-point') most likely stems from our centuries long history of trading across the borders.
    When communicating with someone in a less known language, you quickly find yourself dropping all the unnecessary chit-chat. First of all because you lack the vocabulary and secondly because it can create confusion. Time is money....just say want you want, cut to the chase and get it done.
    And that just has become second nature.

  • Charissa Paauw
    Charissa Paauw 2 months ago +1

    I'm Dutch/Surinamese and I like it when people get straight to the point. There is less room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. One will know where they stand whilst skipping useless or fake formalitie (Not all formalities are useless of course, it depends on the situation). You don't waste a persons time and I find that to be assertive and respectful. It's flexible as well because you can still disagree or ask questions. A direct answer does not mean the end of a conversation, you can still discuss and share your point of view.
    I used to think Americans were incredibly two-faced. But that was before I knew about the cultural difference. The overly niceness, followed by a (to me) cold shoulder was very confusing haha.

  • JinxedDestiny
    JinxedDestiny 2 months ago +1

    As a dutch person I think that our language already sounds very sarcastic or rude but when we use too much nice words like please and thanks sometimes makes it even more sarcastic

  • Kubra Benelli
    Kubra Benelli 2 months ago +14

    On the two scales the Netherlands and Germany are very close, but in the business and company culture the two are very different with Germany being very hierarchical. And about Calvinism, the Netherland is very different from most Scandinavian countries who also are influenced by Calvin. (just observations from a dutchie)

  • John Verheij
    John Verheij 2 months ago +3

    Great video!
    As a Dutch person it's refreshing to find out how other cultures feel about ours.
    You've very respectfully described our 'direct' culture and thoroughly answered all the questions that came up during the video.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +1

      Thanks John!
      Best regards,
      A 🍑

  • Jay Kubb
    Jay Kubb 2 months ago +104

    I am a Dutch coconut and I once had an Iranian colleague. He explained the concept of Taarof to me, which is an Iranian form of politeness/etiquette. I just couldn’t wrap my head around how a society can even function like that… 😂

    • Blackadder75
      Blackadder75 2 months ago +29

      I just googled that, yeah it's a mind boggling concept for us.
      I was in Egypt and we went sailing on the Nile. It was nice trip and there were like 5 layers of hierarchy from the boat owner to the deck swabber. (at least 3 of those layers were unnecessary from our Western point of view, but were a way to fight unemployment (create some artificial jobs) After the trip I wanted to give all the crew a little tip. Oh my, what a mistaka to maka! Since I didn't know the hierarchy, I would give one guy too much and another one too little, so I should just give everything to the boss and he would distribute it according to social ranks. So we did, (and then secretly gave the lowest rank some extra )

    • Joost Prins
      Joost Prins 2 months ago +5

      @Blackadder75 and you really believe they will distribute the money?

    • Blackadder75
      Blackadder75 2 months ago +9

      @Joost Prins yes, an unfair distribution is still a distribution......

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +9

      Wow thanks Jay, had to google Taarof myself. I've heard from travelers that Iran is one of the most hospitable countries to visit-not surprised. But yeah, I love to learn about cultural differences so thanks for sharing-the beauty of this world!

    • Daan Strik
      Daan Strik 2 months ago

      @Blackadder75 There’s a fairly big chance the “boss” kept everything for himself.
      Of course we don’t have the context for the situation. But my first thought was “he’s not going to share it”.
      The fact you actually gave him the money is rather surprising to me then. I expected the story to end with you distributing the money fairly.

  • Ai
    Ai 2 months ago +11

    Simple way to explain dutch directness and what it ultimately boils down to is...efficient communication.

  • Kasul the Casual
    Kasul the Casual 2 months ago +3

    The hardest thing for me coming to terms with living in the Netherlands was that people thought me creepy, overly polite and a butt-kisser. I'm from Sapporo-Gaoka, Hokkeido... It took about ten years to dutch-up a little.

  • Lars Ruiters
    Lars Ruiters Month ago +1

    As a Dutch guy myself this has been some what of an eye opener, i always have these direct thoughts altho, i sometimes just however decide to not say it. I think its important to notice that for example when the Dutch visits a comedy special, they will clap or pretend to laugh at a joke just to keep the show going or even if they didnt understand it they will still pretend they got the joke just so the person on stage wouldnt feel bad and continued the show.

  • N1h1L3
    N1h1L3 2 months ago +1

    Even within The Netherlands there are distinct variations of directness. Basicly it is the difference between the urban areas containing the "randstad" (amsterdam, den haag, rotterdam, utrecht etc) and the nature/farmlands outside of it.

  • John
    John 2 months ago +2

    I’d just like to add, as a Dutch person, that stating directly that im not available on wednesday does not imply unwillingness, it could mean that as an easy way not to meet, but generally pertains to the assumption we would have to schedule a different day. ✌️

  • KootFloris
    KootFloris 2 months ago +106

    Directness was also born from fighting bigger powers. The English army had class hierarchy in their armies, which slowed things down, or could lead to major blunders. When you have a tiny army fighting such a nation, making fast quick decisions, having people act on what they see, not on the status of their commander can make a huge difference. We see this too in Israel, which feels surrounded by enemies (regardless of your political opinion on the matter) and needs versatile people being able to act fast. In 1672 the Netherlands was attacked by all neighbors, all who were bigger. The same with water defense: act quick, and have everyone on board, because not agreeing with political opponents should not sabotage the shared interest of keeping heads above water.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +7

      Thanks for sharing!

    • Daan Strik
      Daan Strik 2 months ago +4

      Huh, that actually makes a lot of sense.

    • Fred Puntdroad
      Fred Puntdroad 2 months ago +9

      Nice alternate history scenario, except we had class differences to a huge degree same as the UK had.
      My grandfather had a framed newspaper article about him: "Factory owner congratulates worker with birthday".
      That was news. The fact that one of 'the betters' had acknowledged the existance of a commoner.
      Well 'was forced to accept' was more like it. As a master-welder they couldn't go without him, their company relied on being able to perform seamless welds, and ask any welder today: Even with much improved modern equipment, that is still considered to be a feat of extreme skill, along with welding titanium.

    • KootFloris
      KootFloris 2 months ago +4

      @Fred Puntdroad We had class differences yes, and stupid leaders too. But the English are way more famous for stupid leaders making awful decisions common soldiers suffered the consequences from. Class differences work when things seem in order. When a system is under pressure you either drop big chunks of them, or f up.

  • Noah
    Noah 2 months ago +5

    Sometimes direct answers in any way can cause some akwardness between people because the conversations are shorter and need to come up with a lot of topics to proceed the conversation. But overall the directness is very handy as well because when you are in a hurry and someone tries to talk to you, you can just ask to talk later without needing to worrie about the other person thinking youre rude.
    The best thing about our language is the scarcasm we often use 😂

    • Zuignap
      Zuignap 2 months ago +1

      On vacation I once listened to a 40-50 year oldish british woman talk about her experience being in the swimming pool 3 minutes ago to her friend. The way she described the waves clashing against her skin while floating on an inflatable tube with the sun warming the top of her body was crazy. Any dutch person would have said yeah the water's nice in this hot weather

  • Raremuan
    Raremuan 2 months ago +1

    As someone from Flandria, Belgium, i can agree. We are ( i'm not sure tho) not as direct, but stil we usually get to the point. Hell, there is even a metafor about being indirect ( "rond de pot draaien", and it wouldn't surprise me if there are even more). We are encouraged in school to speak up about anything, say if we don't agree with what the teacher says and so on.

  • Pm-Nix64
    Pm-Nix64 2 months ago +3

    As for a Dutch person i do understand how it can be rude because my mom is from Ghana and can take the simple answers as rude while if i do the same for my dad or dutch friends they don't really care how i say it so yeah big difference of my African and Dutch part of the family (and i always speak English to friends which effected my accent to the point that my teacher thought i was american)

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago

      Ah two very different cultures. I can see the differences. But that's a very unique part of you!

  • Guinevere
    Guinevere  2 months ago +1

    As a Dutch person myself, we do say a lot of times what we think and how we feel about certain things. However, I feel like if we don't get straight to the point you're only wasting time. Most people in The Netherlands appreciate honesty and being direct about things, as it's easier to trust someone like that. But also, because that's how most of us grew up with. We took it from our parents and yes I do agree when you're a child and your parents are just straight forward with things you're insecure about, it does hit a spot. But as long as it happens with good intentions, there is nothing to feel upset about. Of course there is a difference with being straight forward or just being rude. But I'm really sure you can see the difference and I also feel like most people appreciate direct and honest people more, than someone who doesn't get straight to the point ''in case they hurt your feelings''. Or when they're not being direct, but just rude. Because for most of us, a direct person is seen as a honest person. They're not afraid to share their opinion, which seems pretty trust worthy in my eyes and I believe in many too.

  • telefoon1978
    telefoon1978 2 months ago +2

    We just want to be as honest as can be and not giving false hope, we cut the chase, and tell it as it is. We don't mean to be rude!!

  • Rob van Scheijndel
    Rob van Scheijndel 2 months ago +33

    The shortest way from a to b is a straight line. By analogy with our flat country where we move from one place to another in an efficient manner, our communication also honors in this way. I enjoy working with people from all kinds of cultures and I am regularly struck by how many words these cultures use to express themselves compared to the Dutch. I take that into account in conversations, but I can't always avoid directness in my conversation. We're not usually rude, it's just part of our being. I always hope that other cultures keep this in mind when they meet a Dutch person, in the end we all have to do our best to understand and learn from each other.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +4

      Thanks for sharing Rob. Dutch efficiency indeed!

  • meliodas
    meliodas 2 months ago +2

    8:23 this is so true😂, in my classes there are students who flat out don't leave the classroom when asked/ordered to do so and they talk back all the sh!t the teacher does😂😂

  • Berco
    Berco 2 months ago +6

    I'm a Canadian living in The Netherlands and the directness still affects me lol. Canada is quite indirect and I'm considered direct for a Canadian but that doesn't change how much more direct Dutchies are compared to Canadians. I have to remind myself of cultural differences and to try change my habits to be more direct with them as that's more respectful of their time. Been a struggle though!!! Had a couple moments talking to my Dutch partner about it and feeing frustrated.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +2

      I get ya. I'm quite indirect and had (still have) to get used to the directness. I've found myself to be more direct since living here...but yeah, I do try to adapt based on who I am talking to. Communication is challenging in general haha...but it's a two-way street. And the struggle is real. But...the struggle could also signal a potential opportunity for growth/learning too =)

    • Steve Mar.
      Steve Mar. 2 months ago

      Canada is quite indirect? Uh... you think??? 🤣🤣🤣 (moved to Canada before you were born)

  • LR2927
    LR2927 2 months ago +1

    Don't worry even dutch people think other dutch people are too direct. My friends in university had to get used to my directness😂
    But as you say in a leader rol it is a good trait to have because you are just being honest with no inbetween the lines messages. It can give people a safe feeling because what you say is what you mean instead of all the pleasantries to make you feel better but with a harsh message. Or not that you're not completly honest just to spare someone. Which would give me anxiety if someone would do that to me.
    That being said we do have all kinds of methods to give each other nicer feedback😂 such as the sandwich method, something nice - the feedback -something nice. The nice things do have to be true and appropriate in the situation.

  • Iron Snail
    Iron Snail 2 months ago +2

    In my experience I’d say us Dutch people don’t like saying one thing while our body language is saying the opposite. We are raised to try and be truthful instead of act nicely while everyone can read from your face that you actually think differently.
    But it’s not only being direct in hard conversations, it’s also saying a simple ‘hello’ while walking past a stranger if there is eye contact. Simple acts that break awkward situations which often go unnoticed in other cultures but they have a positive psychological effect on your mood. But the other side is that when challenged we can be quite ruthless with our speech.
    It’s not perfect but it works for most of us.

  • s3ytn
    s3ytn 2 months ago +1

    the directness is definetly a respect game, i can never understand how much many cultures dance around things and never get to a point, its funny how they emphasize respect but will never say things the way they actually think them. Sharing your true thoughts is something to be respected, you get to look inside someone elses mind that way.

  • Ernst B
    Ernst B 2 months ago +93

    Dutch directness, best example is Max Verstappen. He is an example of Dutch communication. He tells the people in the red bull team what is going good and wrong in the car. In the short time they get, he really makes a good set -up for the season and for the next race. It helps the team it helps him. You also hear it in interviews. It is not to be rude, it is a culture thing.

    • Gorgonzola
      Gorgonzola  2 months ago +29

      So true and that’s why he also has a lot of (social media) hatred thrown at him, because people misunderstand directness to be rude. He say’s it a lot of times in interviews, it is what it is. And that line can’t be more Dutch.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +13

      Great example!

    • johan
      johan 2 months ago +2

      He's flemish

    • Gorgonzola
      Gorgonzola  2 months ago +14

      @johan Flemish is not a nationality

    • Martin van G
      Martin van G 2 months ago +8

      Hij is direct, daar gaat het om!! En Vlaanderen praat Nederlands(gelukkig),dus hetzelfde volk👍🏼

  • Judith Tilborghs-Lenders
    Judith Tilborghs-Lenders 2 months ago +1

    As a Dutchie, I would say I prefer open and honest communication, in other words being direct. Beating around the bush or trying to soften something you're trying to get across could lead to misunderstandings.

    GIMME THAT TEA 22 days ago +1

    I'm Dutch but i still like to watch videos like this every now and again because i learn a lot about myself and my culture. I also just love culture shock. But anyways that exchange between Trump and Rutte just made me laugh so hard. I had no idea that happened

    • David Wen
      David Wen  22 days ago

      Thanks and glad to hear you learned something! And that exchange…hahaha yeah made the whole world laugh!

  • Møcha.idiøts
    Møcha.idiøts 2 months ago +1

    3 things about indirect in the NL:
    -that it can come off as somewhat rude because you soften te truth
    thinking the other can’t handle it.
    -I as a dutch person would also say that being indirect could come off as a lil too optimistic, giving off false hope in a sense. For example:
    P1:“Hey can you hang out this friday?”
    (Person 2 has a busy schedule and already knows they can’t)
    P2: I might be busy but I’ll try to see what I can do
    This is something I’ve dealt with sometimes and is quite annoying, so instead of saying things indirectly like that, we prefer just saying:”no, I’m busy, maybe next time.” It may come off as rude or harsh or whatever, but it’s always better than giving off the indirect false hope y’know?
    -Being indirect could make things uncomfortable. It’s like being WAY too nice. Also it takes more time into saying/typing it than necessary. The dutch however don’t really like wasting time listening to a 3 minute presentation of a softened version of why or what something is.
    Instead we prefer the “straight to the point” part.

  • Laura
    Laura 24 days ago +1

    OMG 👏Straight to the point. 👏I would love to work with Dutch people.👏 In the UK people go in circles about everything and over-explain a lot, it's so frustrating. At 5:38 I literally cried, the girl is speaking to my struggles. She is absolutely right.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  24 days ago

      Haha thanks Laura for sharing (especially coming from the UK-the visual probably spoke to you!). Yeah I've come to appreciate directness-you save a lot more time and energy

  • Pluk_ Junior
    Pluk_ Junior 2 months ago +2

    as a dutch person im curious what others think of us and its kinda interesting

  • Gert-Jan van der Lee
    Gert-Jan van der Lee 2 months ago +88

    I'm a big fan of our directness. The people that I get along with best are the most direct Dutch people, as within the Dutch population there still is some variation of how direct they are. And me being insecure in some aspects of life, I prefer the very blunt but honest truth. Leaving absolutely no room to misinterpret the message. And I'm often the same.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago +2

      Thanks for sharing!

    • Gert-Jan van der Lee
      Gert-Jan van der Lee 2 months ago +1

      @Mladen Ivanov Maybe it was the way you said it?

    • Gert-Jan van der Lee
      Gert-Jan van der Lee 2 months ago +3

      @Mladen Ivanov That probably was the problem. As there is a difference between blunt but honest feedback and just insulting someone. It's a thin line between those two and when you get to know eachother better that line shifts.

    • sjorsbeans
      sjorsbeans 2 months ago +1

      i'm always extremely direct and alot of people appreciate it. They also ask my opinion aalot of times. If people get mad don't ask questions if you can't handle an honest answer / opinion : )

    • Quietus Plus
      Quietus Plus 2 months ago

      I was lucky enough to find a group of friends who were totally different than me. Me being awkward and insecure as heck, a loner (also multiple diagnosed mental issues). They just accepted me, and were very direct with me. Which ultimately helped me overcome a lot of issues.
      They make comments about my personality, but we all do about each other. It's just the respect and acceptance, which is so appreciated.

  • ChipLienie
    ChipLienie 2 months ago +3

    Honestly as a Duchie, if I ask someone if they’re available on Wednesday to hang out and they say “oh.. I would love to go, but I already have plans Wednesday… I really appreciate the offer tho” I would feel like they don’t want to hang out with me, or even dislike me. I would personally respond with something like “oh I can’t on Wednesday. Maybe we could go in the weekend?” And then gets responded with either: “Oh sure. I’m available on the weekend! Then it’s a plan!” If they can, and “Oh I can’t on the weekend.. (maybe the reason why) How about the Wednesday after that?” If they can’t on the weekend. And then it usually goes on until we made a plan or we’re just like “We’ll hang out some other time then.”
    Maybe a reason I find that indirectness rude, is because if I actually don’t want to hang out with someone, I would find it too rude to straight up say I don’t want to, and come up with a excuse. So when you come up with an excuse instead of actually having and telling your reason for not being able to go (even if that reason is a headache or just being very tired) and suggesting something else, I feel like you just don’t want to hang out with me.

  • Jonathan Joyhill
    Jonathan Joyhill 2 months ago +1

    This is very relatable.
    I, as a dutch person has had several problems with these differences in directness, for example, in my mother side of my family. These are the most direct people i have ever met, and i had problems trying to communicate with that side of the family because my fathers family was way more emotionally engaged and empathethic. When i got older however, i started to understand their love language a lot more and i have never felt more at home in my family than i do now.
    So if you do plan on coming to the Netherlands, just remember that we can be very friendly but blunt at the same time :).

  • prognemesiss
    prognemesiss 2 months ago +1

    Had a discussion once with a professor about a certain curriculum, which many people had difficulty with passing. I complained about a program that was used, because it was a shit program and i was wasting time learning the program instead of what was supposed to be taught. Next semester the program was ditched, assignments were done on paper.
    Grades changed from D's to A's.

  • Stevie Hogendoorn
    Stevie Hogendoorn 2 months ago +2

    Great explanation. I already knew about our directness, but sometimes it's hard to hang out with US people since they indeed consider our directness as rude. In my experience US people will also almost instantly call you 'friend', 'buddy' or tell people 'I love you' when they hardly know you. They seem to be the opposite of our dutch directness.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago

      Thanks Stevie. I get what you’re talking about

    • NOVA__Verse
      NOVA__Verse 2 months ago

      That's indeed very cringe for us Dutch if people say that they ''love me'' 🤦‍♂🤦‍♂

  • A1R
    A1R 3 days ago

    Like you said, being direct makes your life a lot easier as well. When you're being direct, the words are just out there, they're not stuck in your head anymore.

  • Kelly Peters
    Kelly Peters 2 months ago +22

    It is always interesting to hear peoples perspectives on this, but honestly I usually don't even think about it.
    I do have had some instances where people would even misinterpret me on the internet. They were trying to find some hidden meaning behind my words. so I usually just say "No if I wanted to say something else I would have just said it. I mean what I say and I say what I mean".

  • Mike the Goo
    Mike the Goo 2 months ago +1

    Being Dutch myself, I do feel the need to add that if they can't do next Wednesday, but they do actually care about you. They can also ask if you have a different day in mind or even offer a different day themselves. Or it's just... I can't for the foreseeable future, but like... That's just my experience of people not wanting to do with me and generally just saying they can't without offering an alternative.

  • Bram Koopman
    Bram Koopman Month ago

    Mate what an excellent video. As a Dutch person I can say that you absolutely nailed this topic. I love the coconut vs. peach metaphor, I’m going to use that as it’s very accurate.
    Dutch people may seem rude but that is just because you might not be used to direct negative feedback. Know that we are soft in the inside and mean no harm.

  • Maarten van Poelgeest
    Maarten van Poelgeest 2 months ago +1

    One thing I noticed about Americans is that they're way of being polite about something is saying things like, "thanks for asking that question", "amazing idea", "I can't wait getting to know you" etc. The funny thing is that a lot of these kind of phrases in Dutch are used really sarcastically. A friend of mine who is an exchange student said these kinds of things a lot when we first met and I genuinely thought he didn't like me because of that. After he explained himself I now understand that he was just being nice and polite and I felt so bad after.

    • David Wen
      David Wen  2 months ago

      Oh interesting, didn't know that. Thanks for sharing.

  • AdmiredDisorder
    AdmiredDisorder 2 months ago +2

    As a Canadian, I would attribute the indirectness as an almost emotional manipulation. It sort of broke me when it came to emotional abuse growing up and I found I preferred the direct approach over everything else within my interactions in my homeland. Personally, I find I respond reflexively to be indirect and attempt to soften the interaction when I'm placed in a situation where I could lose something big: housing, employment, medical support or my immediate wellbeing. I get uncomfortable at a perceived imbalance of power and immediately switch to trying to people-please instead of being firm but sometimes I will perceive a situation as an emergency and come off incredibly intense... I'm working on it but I find it's easier to work on when I'm around more direct people.

  • Matt Hawksworth
    Matt Hawksworth Month ago

    I am a hardcore coconut, surrounded by peach cobbler - thank you for this insight, it explains my life in great degree..
    This is a very considerate, nuanced, balanced and intelligently crafted presentation.

  • Pitchfork Party!
    Pitchfork Party! 2 months ago +60

    There are rude people in the Netherlands -- because there are rude people in all cultures. The directness gets conflated with rudeness when there's a culture clash. Or maybe culture skirmish, is better way to put it? Culture kerfuffle? Good video! Can't wait to visit the Netherlands. Love the cycling culture!

    • Arturo Bianco
      Arturo Bianco 2 months ago +13

      O we do have real rude ones here. Just because we are direct doesn't mean we alwys have to voice our opinion. Even here we do have some standards of whats apropiate.

    • Pr1ns
      Pr1ns 2 months ago +4

      @Arturo Bianco agree, that's maybe one of the cons for me that some people use directness as an excuse to be rude instead but to Dutch people they would also just be seen as rude

    • You Know
      You Know 2 months ago +2

      @Mladen Ivanov There are allot of rude dutch people, its just in their blood

    • LoveBacon
      LoveBacon 2 months ago +1

      I’m from the Netherlands 🇳🇱 but I’m not rude

    • Geoffrey van Rijn
      Geoffrey van Rijn 2 months ago +1

      @You Know Oh yes says the rude person

  • Krullenbol_010
    Krullenbol_010 2 months ago +1

    For me as a dutch man, I thought this was normal but now that I think about it, we really are very direct.

  • Snout Hlly
    Snout Hlly 2 months ago +1

    My reason for being so direct as a Dutch person is to prevent any miscommunications and misunderstandings.

  • Steven Brown
    Steven Brown Month ago +1

    Strange, I've been to The Netherlands often and never thought of the Dutch as being rude. But then I have had great times talking to the French in Paris where people were very nice to me. The only place I thought people were rude was in Switzerland. It could be my 'Minnesota nice' upbringing.

  • Jaexbricks
    Jaexbricks 2 months ago +1

    I actually did not know we were so direct! Super helpful video!